Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

tall girls

I'm in a facebook group for tall girls and, since it's a facebook group, it's gotten controversial lately. It's usually a fantastic group. Lots of gorgeous photos, women supporting each other, resources for how to find clothes. Representation across all races, nationalities, body types, ages, cisgender, transgender.

But who's tall enough? That's the drama. I don't know who started it but there seems to be an "under 6ft" camp saying they aren't being treated nicely, their experiences dismissed because they're not tall enough. Shooting back there's the "over 6ft" camp saying that shorter women can't possibly understand their experiences. Then the under-6 got mad about being called short. Then the over-6 said they'd gotten comments on their posts along the lines of "oh I thought I was tall because I'm 5-9 but you make me feel really short!" and those are not nice because their whole lives they've had to hear about "making people feel short" when we all just want to feel normal.

I'm 6'1" so I'm right in the middle of all this. I cringe when a woman who's 5'9" tries to tell me that some stores just magically have jeans that run long... not for me, they don't! If you're not special ordering your clothes how can you possibly relate to anyone who is?

And we're not trying to make them feel like BAD PEOPLE, but for some reason they're being very vocal about feeling excluded in the group. We do need them to admit their experiences are different.

A quote I liked though: "Recognizing that someone may have had it harder than you doesn't mean you haven't had it hard."

Anyway, the admins have come out to say "tall is tall and we're not going to allow any dismissive comments against members under 6ft" so I guess that's where we're at... but the discussion is still interesting, a microcosm of sorts for how humans try to team up together, identify with each other, fail to identify, try to be included, make problems about themselves, smooth things over, and get internet groups all riled up.

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