vampire talk with the 5 year old

olive: I do not like vampires.

me: well that's okay, because they're not real.

olive: but they turn into bats. bats are real.

me: well yeah, bats are real, but not vampires.

olive: but there's vampire bats.

me: well, okay. vampire bats are real. but you don't have to worry about them because they don't live in Kansas.

olive: I saw them in our zoo!

me: okay YES they live at the zoo but... not, like, outside? NOTHING IS TRYING TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD.

olive: mosquitoes are sucking my blood.

me: (deep breath) you're very smart olive. this is a very good talk.

olive: I just don't like vampires. 

me: me neither, babe. 

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