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It seems like after the election someone asked why I wasn't posting more post-election feelings, and the answer was I just couldn't, but...

I keep thinking about Cabaret. I'd never seen it until 2014 when my friend dragged me to NYC to see it on broadway, and it was shocking, then I saw the movie from 1972 and it's also very good.

Anyway, check it out if you've never seen it because lately it reminds me of the country. We're sitting around eating in restaurants and having fun friend drama and all these weird sneaky little things keep happening in the background... more nazis here or there, the right getting bolder... songs, demonstrations, arrests.

Sometimes I won't blog about politics for weeks because I can't deal but it's very much in my head.

I think about Alan Kurdi a lot. I close my eyes and see him on the beach, a drowned little boy the same age as my baby, it haunts me. I donate to the IRC.

I think, maybe nothing matters, because Obama also didn't save the drowning syrian refugees.

But he didn't all out hate them so much either. With the immigration ban it's almost like we're saying they deserve it, because they're from Syria, and now you just straight up can't come in here if you're a refugee from Syria.

My family came here from Germany to escape the Kaiser in the 1920s. I've always thought about what a big move that was, leaving everything behind, because your country is so bad. Now I'm just wondering why they were given a place to go, but now we can't do the same for other families because we think they might be terrorists?

At the end of the musical, this latest revival, the master of ceremonies reveals a concentration camp uniform, and he says...

Leave you troubles outside.
So - life is disappointing? Forget it.
We have no troubles here.

and in my head I knew "here" was where I was sitting.

Here life is beautiful...
The girls are beautiful...
Even the orchestra is beautiful!

I keep thinking that the ocean is beautiful.

we have no troubles here.


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( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 8th, 2017 06:17 pm (UTC)
I feel this too. It's hard because I live in the UK and it has its own issues, which are different but also have this horrible and seemingly inevitable momentum. I try to fight them, I write to my MP, make calls to my US representatives, and do things here and there for my local political party. I send little presents to my DW and LJ friends to help keep their spirits up. I give what I can to charity. It all feels like it's not enough, and I don't feel like I know how to do enough. I know I also have responsibilities to my small children and my full-time job, but I'm constantly feeling like I should be doing more, this is serious enough that I should be doing more. It all seems so hopelessly big and I feel so very small.

Edited at 2017-02-08 06:18 pm (UTC)
Feb. 8th, 2017 07:11 pm (UTC)
Alan Kurdi haunts me too, his fat little legs and little shorts. It's unspeakably horrendous. I also feel that there are all these important THINGS being eroded and I'm going to blink and find myself in a very different world.

Feb. 8th, 2017 07:16 pm (UTC)
Yeah, my grandparents came over on ships. That must have been so scary, to get on a ship back then to cross a huge ocean, for a life where you didn't have a job or know the primary language....
Feb. 8th, 2017 07:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you. You said so much what I've thought and can't say.
Feb. 8th, 2017 08:27 pm (UTC)
Beautifully written, I see my children in all of these children and I break, I can't understand and I hate feeling so impotent.
Feb. 9th, 2017 11:40 am (UTC)
It's a horrible thing going on in this country. Trump is such a monster, but Pence is almost as bad, so it's hard to think that there's any hope. But I suppose you get what you deserve, all those people who voted for Trump, and all those people who didn't vote at all.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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