If you are sick, I don't want you to come to work. "Sick" means that your health is compromised in a way that will make you a less productive engineer. If you're a little sick, I'd rather you off for a day or two of rest and heal so we can have three good days this week with you, instead of five days dealing with you being sick with a lingering virus. If you have a contagious sickness that spreads to your coworkers, then you'll definitely hurt company productivity. Do a cost-benefit analysis.
Text or email are my preferred ways to learn that you are sick. A phone call or voicemail is okay too. Coming into my office and presenting your sick self to me in person is my least preferred method.
As a professional, I trust you when you say that you are sick. Just say "I'm not coming in today, I am sick." That's enough information.
I don't need to hear details about what's coming out of you, from where, for how long, anything about the consistency or chemical composition. I trust you. Also, that's disgusting. If you want to warn others you can offer up a simple "I believe this is a contagious respiratory virus" or "I am having digestive distress, possibly from the potato salad in the break room" - leave it at a high level summary.
Sympathy is not one of my strong points but let me assure you, we all hope you feel better soon. Lay on your couch, eat soup, watch the weird al "I'm calling in sick today" video that always cheers me up. Celebrate the fact that you work for a company that pays sick leave. This isn't elementary school, you don't get a certificate for perfect attendance. We'll see you in a couple days.