Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

friday 5: close friends

friday 5 time!
1. How many close friends do you have?
One. Sometimes in my life I've had two. Other times zero. I am definitely not someone who needs/has lots of close friends. Oh and husband doesn't count.

2. Do you make friends easily or more slowly?
I think really easily, but I can't just casually run into someone at parties several times and call them my friend. Someone's gotta take a step and say "we should do a thing!" and then we do a thing. Dinner, lunch, drinks, something not accidental, and a lot of people don't seem to understand leaving the house or something so it doesn't work out. That's okay.

3. Who is your friend of longest standing? How often do you talk to him/her?
Well now we're in the wider definition, my "close friends" definition is "one who I could call up right now and make a date with". In the long standing friends world, heck I'm facebook friends with a girl I was BFFs with in elementary school, she became a scientist too so we love each other's statuses and even though we live in different cities, I'm certain that if we got together we'd have a blast!

4. Do you think that your closest friends today will be your closest friends ten years from now?

Marc and I recently discovered a nasty catch-22 we're in that has to do with friends. A few years ago we discovered that we can only really be friends with other people who do not have family in town. Actually this might have been my mom's theory, but we confirmed it. People with family in town have no need for friends, too busy for friends, their parties are auto-filled with cousins and their kids never need playdates because that's what grandma is for.

So our best friends have always been the isolated family-less adults like ourselves.

On the other hand, people with no family in town have nothing to anchor them here, and they move away. That sucks.

We are destined to just always be losing our friends. Crap.

5. What's the best basis for friendship: shared values, shared opinions, or shared activities?
I'm not sure I like any of these options. It's a personality thing. My best friends have always been the right amount of chattiness. They've always been really practical, down-to-earth, more likely to be blunt or overly honest. They're women who others might see as stand-offish but for some unknown reason we just hit it off.

Coincidence... they're usually capricorns.

I've had little activities here and there that I shared in common with friends, but I've never met a friend because of, say, sewing or whatever. The only thing they have to value is getting the hell out of the house every once in a while. They have to be at least a little interested in politics and making the world a better place, so I guess that's the shared opinion thing.
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