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Here are websites that I refuse to click on, no matter how tempting the title seems.

E-How - they make you think they have THE ANSWER for, say, how to oil your Kenmore 423G sewing machine. But you click the article and after three paragraphs selling you sewing machine oil, the "final" step will turn out to be something like "get out the Kenmore 423G user manual and oil wherever it says to." AHGGG!

Parents magazine - Every article will be a list. Every list will be a "slideshow". Every "slide" will take ten minutes to load. I have internet and computers fast enough to stream all the lord of the rings movies at once but I'll never be able to get through a parents magazine article in less than two hours. so, screw them.

About.com - Crusty navigation, a maze of text your eyes can never follow, more ads than content.

and today's new one... upworthy

Share their links on facebook friends, I don't give a shit anymore. I am so sick of seeing headlines like "this blue circle will amaze you!" or "you will never guess what this alligator is hiding!", and you click the page and there's a ten minute video to watch, and buried somewhere after seven minutes of shaky cell phone nothingness there's something that sort of resembles the title. I don't care if they're cool and feministy. Upworthy sucks.

And while I'm at it, whenever I see anything on the internet with the caption "mind = blown", it's a pretty fair bet my mind will not really be blown. I'm talking to you, stupid facts on pinterest.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 8th, 2014 08:01 pm (UTC)
Cracked (of course) has an article on just this. I totally agree!
Jan. 9th, 2014 01:30 am (UTC)
I totally support cracked!
Jan. 9th, 2014 02:25 am (UTC)
Ugh I hate upworthy. And any other site that uses video content for something that could be written down. I hate videos.

And no one ever closed-captions them. ACCESSIBILITY, FUCKERS.

Just saying.
Jan. 9th, 2014 02:56 am (UTC)
I enjoyed unworthy for a while. But yeah, I hate watching the videos. I can never watch it with the kid around and so never end up having my mind totally blown by whatever the latest thing is. uggh… Have our attention spans gotten that bad that we no longer want to read but just watch videos?! grrr..
Jan. 9th, 2014 05:54 am (UTC)
My instinct is to avoid about.com, but after I learned an acquaintance is a writer for one of the more respectable sections, I've started giving it the benefit of the doubt. If you paid people to edit wikipedia articles, it'd probably come out to roughly about.com
Jan. 9th, 2014 05:55 am (UTC)
I friggin' hate when people link upworthy though

it's so intellectually humiliating. I just want to see the damn funny picture okay
Jan. 10th, 2014 12:22 am (UTC)
I was chuckling at this yesterday because it's SO TRUE!!!!

So today I saw a post on Facebook that said: See that tiny island in the lake, well it's about to blow your mind.

And I thought about this post, so I clicked the link to have my mind not blown. The article doesn't really blow my mind, just as you suggested, but they get right to the point, and it's pretty cool. It totally reminds me of Anno's Mysterious Multiplying Jar.

Jan. 13th, 2014 07:53 am (UTC)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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