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how to purge social networking friends

I've been dangerous lately... trying to be slightly more active on twitter, at least check in and post sometimes, (er, tweet) and it's lead me to realize that I am following waaaay too many people on there. I thought twitter was a totally fun game where you see how many hundreds and then thousands of followers you can get... then realized lately that anyone can get a thousand robot followers, it's finding the actual people that's a challenge. also, their list management is kinda clunky.

so I just unfollowed anyone who was annoying me in the slightest bit... anyone selling anything, anyone wearing a suit in their profile pic, anyone with political ideas that I'd heard before and were totally different from mine, anyone who I feel has too many followers and won't miss me. It's awesome.

all that purging is so liberating I started doing it on facebook too. that's a little more dangerous, because I already keep my friend list down below 200 so it's already down to people I mostly know. treating facebook like twitter can get you into real life trouble. but it still feels awesome.

marc's DJ friends who post about big events and who will friend anyone in the name of "they might come out and see me"? gone. former coworkers who moved away at least three months ago? I think I've proven that I care, hey I didn't de-friend them RIGHT after they moved, but let's face it we are never going to see each other again right? oddly conservative cousins? if you were an aunt or uncle I'd keep you around, but cousin level well now you have to be a little cooler. moms with kids the same age as mine who only invite me to stuff if it's to buy their child a present, with the exception of some "sell you crap" parties? Sorry, but I hate "sell you crap" parties so you're gone. I even had a lady on the list who I hadn't heard from in over a year until she invited me to her THIRD baby shower. WTF DO YOU NEED FOR YOUR THIRD? Go away! I'm free!

My original facebook rule was this: if I might actually hang out with you in the next year, then we get to be friends. So casual coworkers who I just see at work did not make the cut, neither did friends-of-friends-of-friends.

Now I think the rule has evolved: we have to have the potential to hang out, and I have to BE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

On a final note, don't worry, my defriending spree stops at livejournal. as a community this place seems to be self-purging so there's no reason to actually get rid of a friend. Enough people have stopped updating over the years I have no problem keeping up with the few who are left. Maybe that's kinda sad. Maybe I should get more lj friends so I feel behind again.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 18th, 2013 05:06 pm (UTC)
Haha, I hide cousins that annoy me on FB. Maybe I should just de-friend them. Twitter, I don't even know how to use that "right"...
Jan. 18th, 2013 06:55 pm (UTC)
My LJ friends list is also way more manageable than I would like, as a lot of my friends drifted to FB and then to G+ and then away from both...but lately some of them have been drifting back to LJ and posting more, so, yay!
Jan. 18th, 2013 11:48 pm (UTC)
Friend purging feels wonderful. I am not quite as brave as you -- I feel more obligated to keep family whom I don't want -- but that's why I've resolved to LJ more. I can say what I want to an audience I've trusted for over twelve years.
Jan. 19th, 2013 04:42 am (UTC)
Enough people have stopped updating over the years I have no problem keeping up with the few who are left. Maybe that's kinda sad.

So true, on both counts :( I guess I'm as guilty as anyone; I stopped posting here and now I just read and comment. My friends list is like 95% people who have stopped posting.
Jan. 20th, 2013 05:00 pm (UTC)
I purge FB friends based on activity. If their account goes inactive, that makes it so much easier. And it never fails that when I do this, a few months later I get a request from them. They never get re-friended. I'm like you in that I try to keep the number of friends I have down. Right now, it's around 160 and that is enough.

I have trouble deleting family though. I just go with hiding them from my news feed so I don't have to deal with the 'why did you un-friend me' conversation at family gatherings.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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