Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

Marriage and the odds of making it

Another couple that we know is getting divorced... it's like an epidemic among our friends, and I'm always shocked and surprised and Marc always acts like he's not shocked because he saw the weirdness ahead of time, or knew they weren't that perfect, or could tell they weren't that happy, or whatever.

I always get a complex about our future when some friends get divorced because with everybody splitting up I wonder what our odds are. Like, right before our wedding, a couple split up after EIGHT MONTHS of marriage. We'd been at their wedding! It really bothered me, how could someone date for five years like they did then have it all disolve in eight months?! I told Marc it was impossible, there was no WAY we were going to make it because the odds were just so against us, we have to be a really freakishly weirdly exceptional couple to stay married.

I still get that paranoia, even though we've been happy for five years and everything seems like it's going great, just the same as it always has, we talk our problems out, we love each other, we have good times.

A few years ago during one of my paranoid phases I asked marc what our plan could ever possibly be for if we weren't happy, and that's when he came up with the idea that we'd headbutt each other like rams and whoever passes out first has to make the biggest compromise to save the marriage.

This last phase, I told him it was no use to even dream that'd work, I was like yeah we love each other now, I think you're great now, but that's what our friends probably said a bunch of years ago. and now they hate each other! For all we know that could be our future, it's so scary... I'll kick you out, I'll hate you. That's when he just grinned and said "Oh no. You're gonna miss me."

silly man, at least he knows how to break me out of my panic mode, even if it's just to roll my eyes at him.
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