The funny thing about my obsession is that at 12 weeks when I had that hemorrhage and got to see more of my own blood come out of me than I'd ever seen in my life, I was oddly resigned and okay with the fact that the baby was gone. Why was I so calm knowing I'd lost the baby, but when I found out the baby was okay it was back to my freaking out about losing the baby? My brain just proved that it could totally deal with that situation!
So okay moving on... I'm trying to focus on the fun "see the baby" aspect of the scan, my brain wants to think about scary shit but I work to wander off that and try really hard to make myself want a boy or a girl, act like that's important, just for the distraction of it.
In a way it's kinda important only because Marc and I have kind of a bet going on. Well, we haven't figured out what to bet, but we're both pretty dead set in our feelings:
I think this baby is a boy. If I could choose I'd rather have a boy, I think I have a good name picked out, it would be a nice balance, that brain development book said that boy/girl brains have even fewer differences when they grow up together as siblings, it was interesting. Not that sex drives a ton of brain differences anyway, not nearly as much as we do with our training, but there are subtle trends they find and it's all kinda fun to read up on. Oh but anyway, I also think it's a boy because this pregnancy has just been so different, absolutely no symptoms in the first weeks (with Josie I was so hungry and my boobs hurt and all that) and I was so much sicker this time... it's gotten way better lately but holy crap. With Josie I threw up once. ONCE! With this one, even if you throw out the food poisoning incident, I had days and days where every morning I'd just lose it for no reason. Had to stop working out and brushing my teeth, had crackers and cookies in every room of the house (Josie loved it, it was like an easter egg hunt), generally felt like ass for like two months.
Marc thinks the baby is a girl. He wants a girl, just so he can "stick with what he knows". He points out that I was "so sure" Josie was a boy, I had boy dreams and everything when I was pregnant with her, she came out very much a girl. He also thinks that since he's made two girls, there just isn't evidence that he's got any Y-chromosome sperm. This is impossible since he is a man so obviously there's a Y in there someplace, they just haven't won any races yet.
I looked it up and according to this website he's partially right. Overall in the world, 51% of babies born are boys (you be the judge of why nature gives us slightly more, I won't say it's because guys are kinda dumb and prone to removing yourselves from the gene pool, but some might think that, just sayin'). But if you've already had two girls, you only have a 46% chance of having a boy for #3. Still pretty close to 50/50, but not quite.
Anyway to get you all thinking about this instead of worrying about the millions of worst-case scenarios that run through my head every day, how about a fun poll? No "other" option, if we don't get to find out this week (or my worst-case-scenario is right) this turns into a "the next live birth spacefem experiences will result in a..." sort of poll.