oh yeah. I have a high deductible healthcare plan so I get to just pay that, out of my HSA account, which luckily is pretty beefy because I've been pouring money into it, knowing that baby-having will get us all the way to our ~$5K deductible or whatever it is. But still, holy sticker medical shock batman. And since the baby is next calendar year, I really have to hope the HSA doesn't have to get hit hard in 2012.
But I'm doing my best!
I got to go to the hospital again yesterday. dammit dammit dammit. Totally different thing this time... I woke up at midnight throwing up everywhere and could not stop. Every 30-60 minutes, long after all food was clearly purged from my system, I was sick. It was so bad I thought maybe it was food poisoning but we ate really safe foods last weekend, and my family who'd eaten the same exact stuff wasn't sick at all. So who knows. Maybe I was possessed.
Anyway this went on from about midnight until 10 in the morning, showing no signs of even slowing down, and I was worried because I've been throwing up for about the last two weeks anyway. Morning sickness. It would hit when my stomach got empty, I have crackers in every room of my house but if they weren't enough, or if I "lost the race" to get to them, I would lose what little was in my stomach. At least every other day, I've been throwing up. I told Marc I was concerned about being locked in some cycle here, since not eating always makes me throw up, but then eating was also making me throw up... but I couldn't philosophize much more because I had to get to the bathroom.
So he called my OB, who said this could get serious, take me to the "infusion center" at the hospital. I'm learning about all sorts of new places this year. There's this big special room full of recliners and all types of people laying around reading magazines hooked up to IVs. It's quite lovely. Most of the people get to chat with each other but since I couldn't stop hurling, I got the corner spot with a curtain pulled around me.
I hate getting IVs, I have tiny veins and being dehydrated made it that much worse, when she started me up and asked how I was feeling because this stuff should work fast I was like, "I'm feeling like there's a HUUUGE needle in my arm!" She replied that I actually had the tiny needle in my arm, the one they can use for babies, but it's okay, give it time. I got fluids, I got anti-nausea meds, I felt human again. I went home and laid in bed and was finally able to sip water without losing it. Then by dinnertime, I ate a cracker.
Today I feel weak and lightheaded, but I've eaten a granola bar and am planning to stay home again and I think things are improving. I'm having sports drinks and am optimistic about my survival.
I have a prescription for anti-nausea stuff too, which may be already changing my life. Yes I know morning sickness is my body's way of sending me messages, like "Hey, reminder, I want 4000 calories a day and you haven't eaten in an hour, get to it!" But the feeling I had this morning where I wanted to eat because I was hungry, not because I HAD to start stuffing my mouth with something... amazing. I thought morning sickness meds were only for the truly, horribly sick, who couldn't survive no matter how they tried managing their feedings. But I have enough to make me a normal person this week and am so excited to just see what it's like. Maybe I could walk fast somewhere, not have to slow down and sip water and take deep breaths without losing it. Maybe I won't spontaneously start dry heaving in a meeting and have to excuse myself. Maybe I won't be shoving my face with cheetos at 6 am because my toast is taking too long. maybe I can take my prenatal vitamins... or even BRUSH MY TEETH. this sickness has not been awful, so many others have it way worse than me, but it's made me feel icky for whole days at a time. just not myself. i want a break.