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ruined for parties

So we go to this birthday party today for my friend's two-year-old. I work with the mom, I've never met her child, we don't get together enough, it's one of those things I think I got invited to only because facebook exists. Mostly family, which explains why I haven't met this child... as my own mother once said, people tend to have family *or* friends, not both. family in town? no need to spend much time with anyone else.

But anyway, I figure it's something to do, it's a free lunch, why not?

Well it was miserable... maybe I am socially inept, I spent most of the party trying to sit there and decide. It was in a park shelter with no restrooms nearby. The party started at 11, food wasn't ready until 12:30. I was starving. The family all knew each other, I didn't. I was tired... I've been with the baby all weekend by myself.

And I'm at that pregnant-but-not-pregnant stage (2 months) where I don't know if I can blame my anger, or fatigue, or going-to-kill-and-eat-someone level of hunger on the pregnancy or not. doesn't really matter, since nobody knows about it, even if they did I don't think pregnancy can be an excuse to be a total bitch who's stalking the grill guy going HOWS THAT FOOD COMING ALONG?

Tonight my friend is having a 30th birthday and I lied and said I couldn't get a sitter. Truth is, I didn't try. I just don't feel like going out and watching everyone else drink while I struggle to keep my eyes open past 9 pm.

But once again, there are several issues at hand...

1) Why do people plan parties and not have FOOD involved at some near point? For my friend's birthday, we're meeting at one place at 7 (which you know will be 7:30) then all taking a limo to a restaurant (so it'll be 8) then we'll order... 9. Or at lunch today, when you say the party is from 11am-1pm why wouldn't you have food until 3/4 of the way through? And there was nothing to do, no games for the kids, just sit and talk for 90 minutes. Luckily we showed up fashionably late but I figured that would get me there in time for the food, not shorten my wait to only 1 hour.

2) Am I crazy, am I over-impatient? I mean seriously... normal me, not pregnant me, would not find any of this acceptable either, I just want to get that on the table. That's why I'm trying not to say "woe is me, nobody wants to feed the hungry pregnant lady" because I'm never good at waiting for food. Or waiting, period. IT'S A TWO-YEAR BIRTHDAY DAMMIT... what is so difficult about getting a game, a meal, and present-opening clipping along at a nice pace to get us all the fuck out of there in 2-3 hours?

3) But then again... maybe normal people, people who like people, are happy waiting around and talking and making friends and are not constantly focused on their next meal.

that's it. i'm socially inept.

anyway I'm staying in tonight. I felt bad, bailing on this 30th birthday, but after this afternoon's lunch fiasco where I just sat there hating everyone I know it's for the best. better to have people think I'm a recluse than a crazy bitch who's bored if I'm not eating.

I have eaten my dinner before dinner parties too... that also sucks, because then I'm the weirdly not hungry one at dinner. and I'm even still wondering when we'll eat, because eating is a nice way to pass the time and sit and talk to people, if the point of a gathering is dinner I just want to get to it.

forget it. I just can't handle people without alcohol. I will see the outside world next year.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 29th, 2012 09:29 pm (UTC)
I totally agree. When I was on maternity leave, I would go to these mom group meetings, and they would be from like 10AM to 2PM, and nobody would seem to have any interest in eating. And I'd be STARVING, especially since I was breastfeeding. I'd have to beg everyone to order food.
Sep. 30th, 2012 01:19 am (UTC)
Why don't you take along a small container of nuts in you purse to stop the hungries?
Sep. 30th, 2012 01:35 am (UTC)
that would solve the hunger problem, but not the boredom/impatience of "c'mon people, let's get this party MOVING!"
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 30th, 2012 02:09 am (UTC)
see, your response makes me go okay, it's not just me! that's the thing... yeah I could eat before I go or pack snack food, but egads can't we get this show on the road? like, half the issue is my hunger, the other half is that kiddo-party attendance is not my part-time job!

I was at a wedding once where the food did arrive quickly, but then the bride and groom wanted to do their table-visiting and the family was doing pictures and the DJ was playing all this great dance music, but they wouldn't do the first dance so nobody wanted to jump out there. the party just dragged and died.

which is sort of how I felt today... yes, the kid's parents were happy chatting it up with the people they knew, but I was NOT.
Oct. 1st, 2012 01:52 am (UTC)
Plus if you're waiting for food, you have two options; sulk, or go into the kitchen to "help" and try to expedite and not look like you're shoving food in your craw. Which, of course, is exactly what the plan was when going into the kitchen to "help".
Sep. 30th, 2012 03:26 am (UTC)
My social world pretty much revolves around food. And if I do not know what time there will be food, or if there will be food, or if I should eat before hand, or if I should bring food...it makes me crazy and anxious.

Just lay it out there people and then do it.
Sep. 30th, 2012 12:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I went to the birthday party and we didn't get our food until 8:50. But I have to work this morning so I drove myself so I could leave after dinner. You made the right choice! :)
Sep. 30th, 2012 01:52 pm (UTC)
Oops I have you in the wrong friends filter... People I know in real life don't know I'm pregnant yet! Or that I lie to my other IRL friends about sitters :) well, keep a secret for me!
Sep. 30th, 2012 11:34 pm (UTC)
Don't worry! I won't say anything. I will do the same thing if I get pregnant some day. Plus, it's not my place to say anything.
Sep. 30th, 2012 08:51 pm (UTC)
We always have way too much food. If real food isn't going to be for a while (we always try to specify if it's "dinner at 7, people can show up as early as 6", for example) we always have out cheese and crackers or other nibbly things so people don't die of hunger. I get SO CRANKY if I'm hungry.

We didn't have games per se for the kid's bday but we did put down huge pieces of paper with crayons and stickers and let the kids go at it. Lots of fun, minimal supervision. Some of them played on the playground equipment too. I don't get having kids over and NOT having something for them to do! Crazy! Oh and we had a pinata. Can't go wrong with a pinata.

anyway. + food. + things to do.
Sep. 30th, 2012 11:56 pm (UTC)
my parents and my uncle's family always give the times for their get togethers as "food will be ready at X:00". Everyone knows that they need to be there at that time, and you can show up earlier if you like.

I've taken the same route when planning get togethers as An Adult. Of course, as a newbie adult, I don't get the times right, but I try!
Oct. 1st, 2012 01:50 am (UTC)
Nope. Nope. It's not you. The best parties are the ones where you get some noms and sit down to chat with other people, then get some more food and chat some more. That way it's not solid chatting (too much social drain) and not solid eating (not enough socializing).

Or maybe I'm just like you with this stuff, except without the pregnancy excuse. Which just makes me an asshole, I guess.
Oct. 1st, 2012 10:32 am (UTC)
If I have a party at a time I consider to be food o'clock I'll have food at it... but sometimes I have parties at times that food is not usual, so there is no food. I will tell people what the food is going to be and when it will be though, so they can plan around that.

I think 11am is WAY too early for lunch, indeed I think my habit of lunching at 12 noon is a bit early (judging by the rest of my social circle); I wouldn't expect a 11-2 party to have food at 11, somewhere between 12 and 1 would register as "normal". Although I'd probably expect party games at a child's party at an adult's party I'd usually expect "hanging around talking" to happen a lot.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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