Oh, and I took another test, this time one with pink dye because everyone said the blue dye ones are awful. good tip. sure enough the pink one was much more positive. but let's not talk about that, I'd rather be morbid and think the worst about this situation because
1) I have too many lj friends who are really struggling to carry a baby to full term and I feel awful for them
2) One of my coworker friends lost her baby at 16 weeks, that's late, it was very recent, the fact that these sorts of things "just happen" freak me out.
3) My neighbor, who's struggled to conceive for YEARS now, finally got pregnant, then at 8 weeks it turned out to be ectopic. She lost something like 1/3 of the blood in her body and nearly died. I read that ectopic pregnancy is so rare, yet this is the second personal contact I've had who's experienced one.
My only comfort right now, in between potentially hormonally-driven freakouts at work (that's another entry) is the babycenter birth clubs.
stay with me here.
I didn't get into babycenter until I was practically nine months along last time, because I wanted to promote my due date survey, but just out of curiosity I wanted to see if there was a may 2013 babies group formed yet, and there was!
there's also june 2013. and august 2013. and so on and so on. how, you wonder? when these people clearly aren't pregnant yet, unless they are elephants, and elephants can't type? because women who are PLANNING to get pregnant and have their babies that month are already posting!
And in the may one, we're full of "TTCers" (TTC = trying to conceive). These are people who mark their first day of their period every month, figure up their potential due date as soon as they get their period, assume they'll be pregnant, and if it doesn't happen they just move on to the next board.
this sounds crazy to me... who would want to obsess this much about pregnancy without being pregnant? and it could go on for MONTHS, it took us four cycles to get Josie (I think), can you imagine obsessing about a potential pregnancy that would be three weeks along there's no way to know? I call it one of science's greatest blessings, that you get to be one month down, eight to go when you find out you're pregnant... except for these people!
And there are so many trainwreck gems from the early pregnancy crowd. One girl posted up a photo of her test and said she thought the positive line was SO dark, she asked us if it was maybe twins. Another was ranting that she wanted to buy her other daughter a "I'm gonna be a big sister!" outfit to tell her husband, but they didn't come in 0-3 month sizes. Then there are the super drama "what are these TTCers doing in here?!" posts, and the follow-up "Why can't we be nice and stop posting drama?!" posts... it's AWESOME.
Actually, it's a refreshing break from the etsy forums where I normally lurk. people lamenting that etsy must have an agenda against them because their seashell covered tissue box holder isn't selling has gotten old for me lately. this early pregnancy babycenter gawking is sorta fun.
Anyway, I did not mean to rant this long, just to update you all on the test.
But the same rule applies as last time:
2) Do not tell me congratulations unless I actually hit 13 weeks and post a happy "I'm pregnant" posts, because right now I do not have the confidence to take all that.
3) If you're trying to have a baby and I beat you to conceiving, I'm really sorry about this whole entry.
4) oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit... our own two year old had us awake at 3am last night for who-knows-what, and we could add another baby to this mix of insanity? in fact, said darling child has been an extra moody handful this week, just to remind us how taxing parenthood is WITH ONE CHILD. AHHHHH!