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clocks that aren't right

I must sound like the angriest person in my lj sometimes... I swear I'm not, I'm really very happy with life, I love all sorts of little things... morning walks with the dog, cream cheese sprout avocado salsa sandwiches, coffee, musicals, road trips, crafts. So many things, I'd just never be able to list them.

But I really fucking hate clocks that do not tell the correct time.

This has almost caused problems in my marriage because marc is one of those people who thinks it's okay to set a clock 10 minutes fast now and then because then he'll see the time, think he's late for something, rush to get ready, but not really be late. To me this is a stupid strategy because eventually you adapt, you know the clock is fast, and you go back to your time-pushing ways. We've sort of agreed to disagree on this one... as long as every clock in the house is okay, I try to ignore the one in his car.

I have some friends who hold a game night and rotate between each other's houses, and one of them uses clocks purely for decoration. Drives me up a freaking wall. They're all just there, showing times, and I'm obsessive about time, I need to see a clock wherever I'm at and know what time it is, and seeing WRONG clocks makes it even worse.

But the clock that really upsets me, the one inspiring this firstworldproblem entry, is our coffee maker. It has a slider on the left side to turn it on, and on the right side it has three buttons: hour, minute, and program. No "time lock" function... just whoever hits one of those hour or minute buttons bumps the time up, including my darling child, who scales her way to the kitchen counters like a some kind of super-sonic mountain goat and just looves those coffee maker buttons. But it's not always even her fault, it's everybody, my father-in-law makes coffee when he comes over (he's one of those guys who drinks it 24x7) and I swear I think he hits the hour button by mistake all the time. Or it just gets bumped, or maybe it hits itself, who knows?

Either way, if the clock is correct and someone bumps the hour button once, the only way for me to make it correct again is to hit it 23 times so it cycles back around. WHO DESIGNED THIS ATROCITY? It could be anything, at any time, I just want to make coffee but there's this damn clock that's never right.

I've actually considered buying a timer that turns it off every day, then on again at midnight. Or we could unplug it all the time, and plug it in every morning to make coffee, but we like to leave the coffee on for a few hours so we'd have that clock definitely wrong every day, right when I'm trying to get ready for work, the worst time.

Or I could buy a whole new coffee maker... one with no clock, since we don't program it! But that's a waste. The thing makes coffee just fine, it's that "bonus feature" I can't take. I know... don't let the little things ruin the big things, right? I can't help it. It drives me insane.



( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 12th, 2012 07:11 pm (UTC)
electrical tape or nail polish over the clock face?
Aug. 12th, 2012 09:21 pm (UTC)
This! There's also this substance called "sugru" that sticks to everything, is made of silicone, and could look a little more permanent — and you could sculpt something interesting on top of the clock. Unless the LCD also tells you something useful, like time-to-coffee or brew strength or something.
Aug. 12th, 2012 09:22 pm (UTC)
... or you could stick it on the hour and minute buttons once the clock is set :)
Aug. 14th, 2012 03:40 am (UTC)
Yup, this is what I was coming into say.
Aug. 12th, 2012 07:52 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness, someone else like me. I am teased because of my need to see a clock wherever I am. Even in the shower. I might not always look, but I need to be ABLE to look. And if clocks are wrong, I am crazed. If I was having your problem with the coffee maker, I would probably ask around and see if anyone wanted to trade coffee makers to solve the problem without having to buy a new one. Because that would make me straight-up apeshit.
Aug. 12th, 2012 09:43 pm (UTC)
I'm with Marc, actually. I set the clock on my watch 10 minutes ahead because it actually does trick me into thinking it's later that it is, even though I've been doing this for like 20 years. I set all the other clocks in the house plus the one in my car to the correct time though, partially because I know it would irritate everyone else.

Do you have a watch? I feel like other than when I'm driving, that's the thing I look at to know the time.

Also, I don't know what a cream cheese sprout avocado salsa sandwich is, but now I really really want one.
Aug. 14th, 2012 03:41 am (UTC)
This "cream cheese sprout avocado salsa sandwich" has taught me that I need to make spacefem my chief menu planner.
Aug. 13th, 2012 12:12 am (UTC)
I'm so one of those people, but only with the clock in my car. It's 20 minutes fast for the sole purpose of making me feel like I'm not in the car so long when I drive back to NY. All of my other clocks are right.

Also, I don't drink coffee regularly, and we never program the dang thing. I know some people do religiously, but I've never seen the point.
Aug. 13th, 2012 12:24 am (UTC)
It's funny how most of us have these things that upset us that sound so unsignificant to others but not to you; I have them; think we all do.
Aug. 13th, 2012 12:35 am (UTC)
Duct tape over the clock face.

"some kind of super-sonic mountain goat"

Aug. 13th, 2012 01:52 am (UTC)
I want one of those sandwiches you mentioned in your first paragraph! LOL
Aug. 13th, 2012 05:00 am (UTC)
do you wear a watch?
Aug. 13th, 2012 06:01 am (UTC)
one of those people who thinks it's okay to set a clock 10 minutes fast now and then because then he'll see the time, think he's late for something, rush to get ready, but not really be late

We have the opposite problem here. The clock on our oven continually loses times; right now, it's about 15 minutes behind, and soon we'll probably reset it because this is just ridiculous. But after we don't, it won't be too much longer before it's 5, 10, 15 minutes behind again.

I know this (what I don't know is how to reset it, or I would as soon as I noticed it), and I usually know how much, since I am constantly checking clocks to keep track of when Gwen ate last, when she slept last, and for how long, when I have to leave for work if I'm walking, taking the bus, biking. Joel on the other than blithely goes through life without these scheduling constraints and then, because it is the only clock on the ground floor, uses the clock on the oven to time his preparations when we need to leave, e.g., to the train station to catch a train to the airport. He always puts off packing and getting his things together to the very last minute, so I'll be standing there tapping my feet and he's like "But I still have 10 minutes" and I say "No, we had to have left 5 minutes ago!"

I've started telling him we need to leave -- and leave equals "be walking out the door" -- 10 minutes earlier than we have to, to compensate.
Aug. 13th, 2012 06:55 pm (UTC)
A guy I knew in college had a shelf full of clocks, each labeled with a different place and set to the time he would get to that place if he left right that second. At some level, I thoght this was brilliant, but it would drive me nuts.
Aug. 13th, 2012 08:58 pm (UTC)
your clock keeps military time? I think you should ignore the pm indicator (a little red dot?) and now you only have to press the button 11 times. That should save you a good 15-20 seconds of button pushing.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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