It was Sunday, so we went to church. Took Dave. In dating Dave I violated my personal "don't date catholics" rule but it was because of stuff like this... he's at least willing to go see what another church is like. I've had friends that didn't even do that, and it didn't bug me, everyone can have their own religion, but after a cousin of mine had to sign things and convert to catholicism because she was marrying a catholic I told myself I would try my best not to get into that situation. I think the catholic church is a scary one. We believe that you get to heaven through Jesus, they seem to believe you get there through a priest or a building or something. That's the clicker that I don't want any children of mine ever believing. In my church you can totally renounce everything anyone tells you and tell the pastor he's a total jerk who you don't agree it at all and it doesn't matter. Salvation is between you and God. I guess I know catholics who don't agree with anything their church tells them, too, but since they still go to church and call themselves catholic I don't think that counts.
Boy, I did not want to rant along on this topic, sorry! Anyway the service went well.
Then we came home, made hamburgers, and popped in an afternoon movie while Dave tried installing linux on his laptop. The movie was Behind Enemy Lines and I thought it was very good. Had the action, was interesting, all that. Very heroic. And I adore Owen Wilson, always have, that had to help.
At seven mom and I went to join Mikey's bowling league. He roped me in, yes. Scary! But I thought it'd be something fun for mum and I to do. Only downside was that we got booted off Mike's actual team, so we had to form our own team, using Dave as a substitute. Must work this week towards finding another person. I bowled okay, pretty average for me... two scores just over 100 and one in the 80s. Used an 11lb ball. Felt proud just to make it through three games with that (I'm weak, sorry!)
Dave and I met up with the rest of the group at Johnny's afterwards where we played bar trivia and ate peanuts. Service wasn't great and we lost the trivia games badly - both of us right there at the bottom. Very sad. There were like eight people too.
Came home a little after midnight and went on a long walk around my subdivision, which I barely recognize anymore since there's been so much added (new streets, new houses). Talked about life and other things. I admitted I'd been anxious and moody lately and didn't know why. Felt good to get it off my chest. I think the whole deal comes down to the fact that I don't know what I should do and I don't know what I would truly have Dave do if it were up to me. I feel clueless and that's hard. Life is starting to be the real thing here, something big is going to happen, and I can't see it coming or do anything about it. Psychologists tell us that when we can name our problems, we own them. I guess that's what I'm striving for here too, it's just hard to get everything in order and look at it all at once, to even see it in the daylight, so to speak.