Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

weird dream

I just hade a dream where I was at my prenatal appointment and the doctor was going over everything to do with having my baby... when to go to the hospital, how things were progressing, how it was going to happen any day. He said he definitely needed to see me weekly starting now. I commented on how fast this pregnancy has gone by, seems like just yesterday I was finding out about it, now really soon I'm going to have a baby.

Then walking down the hall I stopped, turned around, and was like, "Hold on... I'm 11 weeks pregnant! You don't need to see me in a week, I'm not due any day, what's wrong? And I never got my ultrasound!" He apologized and was just like oh you're right, sorry, okay. I wondered why it took me so long to point all this out.

In the dream, our conversations touched on the fact that I was having a boy. My mother also once dreamed I was having a boy. At my first prenatal, they give you this cute paper bag of literature and vitamins and they just happened to pick the blue one for me. All these signs weird me out because I do not want a boy! I could write a whole entry on this, but I REALLY want a girl. I'm surrounded by men in my life, even my guinea pigs are men, then there's my husband and all my coworkers and most of my friends... don't I deserve a daughter?

Also the fact that I complained about the ultrasound in my dream was funny. I've done a good job lately not being jealous of the women in pregnant and june2010babies who get early ultrasounds. It used to irk me, because I just happen to be at one of those doctors who doesn't do an early one for dating purposes. I'm waiting until at least February. Anyway lately I've noticed a trend... the ultrasounds are supposed to be for "peace of mind" but they don't do anything for anyone's peace, the women who get them are just as worried as I am. Only difference is that they've seen some cute little swimmy thing so they have an image in their head to worry about, and I don't. So I thought I was over the whole ultrasound thing... but since I dreamed about feeling all injusticey about it, I guess not.

I woke up and realized that my real next prenatal will be after Thanksgiving, not at 11 weeks, and no one could possibly confuse me with someone 9 months pregnant.

I think about this way too much for where I'm at.

In other news, I HATE telling people that I'm pregnant and I'm not sure when that's going to change. Marc loves it. He's told half of Wichita and most of our friends, usually when he's under the influence of alcohol. We're getting to that stage where we could tell people, close to the end of a trimester and all that, and we're at parties and stuff where it comes up. People ask why I'm drinking water and I change the subject, or say I'm flying in the morning. People talk about other pregnancies and I start asking way too many questions and suddenly they look at me like THEY KNOW. But I still worry something could go wrong. And I worry they'll think I'm crazy, talking about being pregnant when I clearly do not look pregnant. I guess I'll just let marc make all the announcements. I've managed to screw up all the ones I've made... I get so nervous. I feel better when people know, but that doesn't make me want to tell them. I just want them to think of me as normal.
Tags: dreams, pregnancy
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded