Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

dammit, tricked into attending a baby shower

Went to a baby shower today after a long streak of boycotting them. Honestly I felt a little guilty for going to this one, because on the ones I skipped I didn't even send a card. Any friends who asked me why I missed it, I was dead honest: "I hate baby showers".

BECAUSE I DO HATE BABY SHOWERS. Ladies, why must we play stupid disgusting games? Why must we start up a chorus of "Awwwweeee" after every present... a pack of spit rags is not at all cute. And really, why must it be a celebration of all things pastel and baby? What the hell is the baby doing right now? Nothing! Why can't it be a celebration of powerful womanhood... am I sounding way too crazy?

I went to this one because it fit into my party rule, which is: "I will go to your 'give me stuff' party as long as it's not the first party you've ever invited me to." You'd be surprised how many showers this policy gets me out of. Engineer wives seem to think that if you've seen them out at a group dinner twice before, you're a good friend who'd love nothing more than to walk the aisles of Babies R Us for them. They'll never get me back either... I learned this early, they have babies then fall off the face of the earth, so when my baby/wedding comes along I haven't seen them in years. So I've gotten great at saying "oh gotta wash my hair that afternoon".

Regardless, this shower was still horribly painful. I went upstairs at one point and read the paper for ten minutes so I wouldn't kill myself. Opening presents was soooo sloooow and I felt forced to smile at all the things she was struggling to make up about each gift: "Oh this will come in so handy when ____..."

I almost thought about revising my party rule. Forget the "if you've given me free beer I'll go to your baby shower", I think I have to expand it to some sort of "if you'd donated an organ for me I'll go to your baby shower" or something huge like that. Free beer = I'll send a card in the mail. I can't sit through hours of these things.

If/when my own time comes, I don't see myself getting a baby shower. Yes it'll suck to buy all the stuff we need without help but I've been such a bitch about these things, it evens out. The more I think about it, it's worth it. I didn't get a bridal shower and didn't feel like I really missed it.

Someone's got to end this cycle. I cannot be the only one who hates these things... I think I'm just the most obvious/outspoken about it. I felt bad today, it's rude to go to a party then be obviously about the fact that you're not having fun. I should have really stayed home.
Tags: babies
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