Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

i'm too sexy for my guinea pigs

I read on the internet that when my little guinea pig stares intensely at me, shifts his hind leg weight from side to side so his back end kinda sways, and makes a low murmuring noise, he's not trying to intimidate me. he's performing the official guinea pig mating dance.

he's NEVER done this to marc. yeah, both piggies will growl from time to time when marc can't seem to leave them alone, but the butt swaying? that's only been for me, so far. I'm not sure whether to feel flattered or not... you want to think your cute furry pets are so innocent. when they try to seduce you with bedroom eyes and suave moves it makes you wonder where their minds are at. or not, whatever.

male guinea pigs are called "boars" and according to forums and articles they're basically ridiculous. I mean all guinea pigs are ridiculous... they're making me believe in creationism again because I can't believe any animal would evolve to THIS. they seem to be designed for the bottom of the food chain, they're even food-shaped, like furry little chicken nuggets. well, except they're cute enough so us humans want to take them in and give them foods they love just so we can watch them freak out in spasms of happiness... maybe that was their evolutionary goal all along.

but anyway boars are especially ridiculous because they're trying to be everything a guinea pig really isn't... aggressive, scary, and dead sexy. we've got two and they fight constantly, and it's fun and they love it, they jump around and squeak and settle down and then start right back up again. we're even building them a bigger cage, so they have more full-speed-lap room. it's like having our own little furry fight club that just runs 24/7.

So I love the little guys, but I can't help but wonder why the humane society had to call us on a day when they had BROTHERS. I'm surrounded by men all the time, is it a destiny thing?
Tags: guinea pigs
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