Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

what weddings are about

A million times when planning my wedding, I said to myself, "this wedding is not about me." it's not about us. it's not about mom. it's not about marc. it's not about anybody.

my birthday is about me. my graduation day is about me, and what I've accomplished. No one is interested in patting me on the back because I bagged a man.

Weddings are about ideas. They're about God, blessings, and bringing families together. The party you have at a wedding with the food and drinks and DJ is provided for all your friends and family to celebrate coming together, that bigger union idea, it's not for them to celebrate you. The priority should be what they want... you've got 100 (or 200, or 500) people there, many drove hours, you're obligated to give them something worthwhile.

Of course, if they're the right people for guests, they'll want to see some sign that it's you, some personal touches, something nice and unique to remember the day. But that's not the priority. The priorities are, in no particular order: don't get bored. don't be offended. Don't make them sit there for two hours while you talk to one table, before you let anyone eat. Don't play a bunch of songs that nobody knows. Don't remind them via mail, e-mail, program, sky writer, and singing telegram where you're registered at.

Have weddings, people! I know it's tempting to just elope, and some people do that and it's okay. I know they're expensive but there are ways to cut back.

Those big things you do to your guests (don't bore or offend them) are the basics of any party. So throw parties. Have dinner parties with ten people, have birthday parties with 30... your wedding shouldn't be the first big party you ever throw. Make your friends the priority.

Bring people together. The world is not the internet, where you can just log on, pick people exactly like you, and log off when you're tired of humanity. You're meant to be part of this world. More and more people are deciding that they don't need to connect with anyone real. We'd rather live in Second Life, where no one gets old, fat, gray or ugly. But underneath it all, there are real people who wish they could be accepted as they are, and you can do that if you just reach out.

People connecting is so huge. Yes, it takes money to throw parties, but I don't think I'll be on my deathbed saying, "I showed my friends too many good times." It's one of the best things you can spend money on. So have parties. Then have a wedding. Just give in.

this entry inspired by weddingplans. read it and start your own great rant for free!
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