in other news, I have a huge test tomorrow and have tons of work to do for it. It should go without saying that I'd rather skin myself than study right now.
here's the issue... PhDs go through these theorems and equations and expect it to all soak in. our textbooks are the same way; they have "examples" but end up using the examples as proofs. I sort of understand. barely.
what saves me is homework. not always doing the homework, but seeing the homework done. the teachers don't seem to care much about it, they think we should work through the examples at home and be happy with it, I think they assign homework out of obligation. So I sit in lectures and soak in 5% of the lesson. Then I do the homework and I get another 10% or so. Then they post solutions to the homework, and it gets me the rest of the way (if I can get the rest of the way). It's HUGE for me. And our teacher kept pushing back the homework due dates this time until the end of last week, because it'd be nice to "give us more time to work on it" and nobody in the class was really complaining about due dates being pushed back.
So the solutions were posted Friday, and I received 48 hours to save myself. I'm on page 8 of 18 right now. I am in pain. I hate school. I can't concentrate. I keep using the "minute method"... I set a timer, force myself to work until it goes off, then walk around and regain sanity.
To make it all more awful, I have my exit exam in three weeks. yeah that's not stressful or anything.