Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

Spacefem In Space! (part III)

We drove to Galveston to walk around on the beach which was really cool because I have no memory of ever seeing the ocean. I saw it when I was like 5 in California but don't remember anything about it. I took my shoes off and ran around in the water and looked for seashells. It's weird to have water moving all around your feet, you start to feel dizzy when you watch it swirling around. We bought a bunch of french fries at the Wendy's and fed the seagulls which was interesting, they're freaky birds. Dave says they're like flying rats. I can see that. Anyway, one of the girls got brave and held up a fry in her hand for a while and a gull came and grabbed it, which was cool, but I kept trying to get everyone to throw the fries far out so we wouldn't get attacked or anything. One of the guys held one out above my head. That was mean.

We spent the afternoon at Space Center Houston watching shows and visiting displays and shopping at the gift shop. I bought a t-shirt and some magnets for Dave. I'd have to say that Space Center Houston is really cool for kids, but for adults you can't beat the Cosmosphere in Hutchinson, KS because the story it tells is so amazing it just brings tears to your eyes.

Dinner at Denny's, drive home at night. I thought I was getting a cold so I took at Tylenol from a guy on the bus, after that I was totally knocked out the whole time. I woke up once when we stopped for gas in this funny drugged up state but survived. In Oklahoma City we got back in our vans and drove home, I got here at like 7:30 a.m. and fell asleep again until 11. Went and saw dave, ate lunch, coffee. And here I am.

I rethought my whole NASA philosophy, about all the effort we go through to barely touch what's outside our planet. I'd been trying to comfort myself with a "better than nothing" philosophy about things but switched instead to look inward, to us as humans. What is my website? What is this journal? A tiny fingerprint on the history of time, an invisible mark in the huge world that's forming. A sign of one girl. NASA is all about a sign of one civilization, scraping buy. It's like a website with no hit counter. Yes, doing it makes us united, makes us one, but most of all it gives us some hope that by making our tiny little mark we just might stumble on something huge that'll get us the other 99% of the way to whatever we're going for. Sometimes life is like that. The first few steps are the hardest part, and only by forcing yourself to plod along will you see what's really in store. This life is the first 1%. Our bodies, our souls, our existance on this planet is the first 1%. And we don't know what else is there for us at the end.

But we're not always living just for the end.

And we're not always building just for the destination.
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