Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

void city

skipped roller derby last night. I feel bad. but last week I got a nasty blister that just broke on its own, and it hurts, so I totally have that excuse. plus marc hurt his wrist at work so he wasn't skating. I need to buy skates. maybe that's my goal this week.

instead, marc and I watched a movie and then returned some library books and then walked around down by the river, where the big indian is.

we've both sort of decided that eventually, we want to get out of this town. here's what we agree on: Wichita is dangerous in that it has just enough shit going on to keep you sort of happy in a sedated way. Seriously. It's like the Nexus... only not so happy that it's obvious, you know. It's calm and comforting, and you look around and think, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life here, but I just... keep... staying..."

A long time ago I lived in Pittsburg, population 18000 or so, and knew it was terrible. Seriously, if you wanted a fun day of shopping you were pretty much limited to Wal-Mart. There were like four restaurants. Wichita is a town you can drive across in 20 minutes, Pittsburg is a town you can bicycle across in the same amount of time. Once a month or every six weeks or so I had to get the hell out of there, I'd go with friends back up to Kansas City and it felt real.

Here, I can hang out longer. I can make friends, and go to bars, and listen to bands, and go shopping, but I still feel like it's a pretend city sometimes. Oh don't get me wrong, if any coastal elitist talks shit on Wichita I'll take them out. They're never right about it, anyway, they think the problem is that it's a hicksville cowtown with no culture. It's not. I mean, it's not that. If it was, it'd just be trying to be that... like it's trying to be everything else.
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