Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

Okay, i have to make another post about marc and me and how fabulous we are... which is driving the following poll, because I really don't want to risk annoying anyone with talking about the wedding. For those of you who get sick reading stupid wedding posts, you should know that we're looking at late july/early August dates, so it'll only be three months of this!

And of course, I'll try to balance it out as always with the normal posts, you know... whining about grad school, pushing my liberal agenda, all the things you've come to know and love about spacefem's livejournal.

should I filter out wedding posts?

Depends on how annoying you're going to be with them.

If I do filter out wedding posts, do you want to be in the group that reads them?

No thanks

Anyway the update... our wedding bands came in last night and it was awesome. I go back and forth on my internal wedding feelings. Not because I'm unsure about Marc, trust me, but because the whole idea of getting married has always been weird. Put bluntly, I said I'd never do it. And Marc and I have talked plenty about this phenomenon... both of us feel like before we found each other, marriage was not something we were interested in. And that brings up a variety of scary concepts.

So occasionally when we talk about the wedding I get this weird sick feeling in my stomach. Fear, maybe... if this doesn't work out I'll have this whole new void I never even knew existed. Also expectation and wondering how two people can really make something work forever, even if we do meet all the "can you communicate?" checklists and feel generally awesome about our odds. Anyway, when I got home from work and there was a large but lightweight fedex box inside the door I tried to ignore it and wait for marc to get home so we could open it together and he'd be around to rescue me when I saw the rings and had a heart attack, but as it happened I didn't have a heart attack at all, I thought they were beautiful, we were happy and bouncy and showed neighbors and I went back to the other mode, where I want to throw up just because marc and i are such a damn cute couple! back to thinking that any day now, world war III is going to break out because we've unbalanced the universe somehow. back to just going with this idea that I turned out to be the marrying type after all, and I should stop thinking it's so weird.
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