Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

verk

[I should SOOO be studying right now]

I told my family that I felt like I had senior-itis, the way I'm viewing grad school, and it's not even my last year of it yet. I should have junior-itis! but they understood. at least, the ones of them with master's degrees. apparently school works this way: your senior year of college, you will get senior-itis.

and it NEVER WEARS OFF.

there's always that, "I already know where I'm going, why do I need this bullshit?" feeling, even if a little part of you likes it, you'll never be like you were at 18 starting as a freshman. And I see it! The thing is, back then I went to school because it was what I was doing. It was the phase of my life. It was what I was meant to do. The thought of quitting never crossed my mind. Grad school... well, I always thought about quitting, at least until I got past the halfway point.

and in other news, the kid who sits next to me found out that I'm only a few months from being at my five-year mark at work. I've never been anywhere for five years! Well, there was elementary school. But that wasn't 40 hours a week, so I'll have to do some math there. So he asked one of those great newbie questions... "Does it feel like you've been here five years?"

At first I said no, I still feel like the same newbie I was back then. But then I thought about it and you know what? I do feel different. I'm not as much of a dork as the new hires we're getting, that's for sure. I feel capable of doing some things. I feel like I know what an airplane is, and should be involved in some group decisions. And the big noticable factor: my bosses piss me off! When I first started work, I loved my bosses, they were all brilliant and kind and here to help me, they had no flaws and every time they told me something I was appreciative of their advice, guidance, and/or mentorship. Now? They're just annoying! More and more every day I see managers as "I got an engineering degree but my technical skills didn't cut it" types. They get in my way. They ask stupid questions like, "That report that's due in two weeks... what percentage can I put down for your progress on it?"

don't get me wrong, I still like my job a lot, but the more I thought it things are nothing like they were five years ago.

am I having general school/work stress, or the quarter-life crisis?
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