I'm scared to death of moving out, I've just realized. I'm scared of picking the wrong apartment. Scared of being in a lease. Scared of living alone. But it would be so nice to live downtown, right smack in the middle of two offices that my job is always making me switch between, close to my college (but not too close, my college is in the ghetto!), near all the clubs I love going to. I feel guilty about considering all these expensive apartments, even though I worked my spreadsheets and it can fit in my budget, and I can still make my donation goals.
I guess I just thought I'd go check out places and there'd be a shining light from heaven pointing me towards one place, and it didn't work out like that. Here's what happened:
- I saw the most gigantic two-bedroom loft in the world for $965. That's a lot of money. It's also kind of in a warehouse basement. I mean, it's two-story, and the top part where the bedrooms are has windows but they basically look out at the ground. The windows face west. I like sunlight, especially in the morning, I don't want a place that faces west. It would be FABULOUS for parties... that's about all it'd be fabulous for though.
- I saw a one bedroom loft for $800. No washer/dryer. It's on the first floor and walks out to a little porch thing that overlooks a parking lot. Faces south. All that glass + entrance on the first level makes me worry about security.
- I saw a two bedroom on one level for $800 that has a washer/dryer, but it's not available. So I could gamble and see if one comes available, but with my luck it'll be on the fifth floor or something, total pain in the ass to move into.
I need to move, yes. This room I'm in is suffocating me. Having a loft apartment downtown is my dream, maybe I should just lease the huge one in the basement and call it good? What's the worst thing that could happen?
And I know, last time I posted about living issues like ten of you asked why I wasn't just living with Marc... we're talking, okay? But really I'm moving for myself, to get out of this house, it's an independence thing, I don't want to move in with a guy because the time is right housing-wise, I want to move in because the time is right relationship-wise. So I took marc with me to look at the apartments so I'd have someone to bounce ideas off of, but that's it. He wasn't much help. He's from atlanta, where everyone pays $1000 for rent (crappy studios, too, not giant two bedrooms, he just thinks I should take advantage of the fact that I live in Wichita). But yeah, marc and I... we're talking.