Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,

financial weirdness

My finances are not good.

I'm not entirely sure when they got to the "not good" stage... it started at the beginning of the semester, when tuition was $1200, and I just threw it on my credit card, figuring I'd carry a balance for a month or maybe even two but then be okay, because I hate carrying a credit card balance. When I got my first credit card, my parents looked me straight in the eye and said, "NEVER use this to spend money you don't have. Don't put a single dollar on there unless you have that dollar in the bank." I did a good job of that all through college.

then again, they paid tuition all through college. tuition and insurance and everything else big.

It's not like I'm buying fur coats... sure, I go out. I bought some computer stuff. What's killing me is really the big stuff. My outstanding balance right now is over $2000... I do not have that in the bank. What's worse is that two bad things are due: car insurance, which went up to $650 since I'm a bad driver now (fuckers) and tuition for next semester, a little over $800 (graduate credits are teh evil). It's all got to go on the card. There's no place else for it to go.

Every month, I have a chunk of my paychecks automatically deposited into my "house fund"... a special savings account that I never touch. When I first started working it was the "in case I get laid off" fund, now it's sort of evolved, but I still feel terrible about the idea of dipping into it because I've been irresponsible with the credit cards. I feel like I should disipline myself to get this shit paid off... I should stop going out, stop throwing parties, eat ramen noodles, wear last year's clothes. whatever it takes. If I dip into savings now, what will stop me from just doing that over and over until I have none?

then again, with Christmas coming, this is not a good time to be in "i'm poor" mode.

I used to really hate it when people with above average salaries complained about getting in debt... how the hell did they do it? Now I'm seeing it... it's sort of like in college when you have all this free time, you have to really concentrate on using it properly, you know? I have a regular job and money, and money comes in, and money comes out, and I'm clueless as to what I'm doing here. I suck at money.

if anyone here doesn't suck at it, I'd love some advice.
Tags: finance
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