in other news, it's been twelve hours since my last post about marc and yeah, I'm still pretty damn depressed. here's what else is awful: I really want to visit atlanta, and I don't see how I can any time soon. I mean, jason says he'll drive down with me if we want to drive, it's not too bad if you've got 2-3 people, but we don't want to just do this for a weekend, it's not worth it. and I have class tuesdays and thursdays, which kind of limits the time we can spend out there.
and there's another issue: part of me is afraid that if I visit marc in atlanta, I'll just be that much more attached to him, and I can't be, because I am NOT moving for him. flat out not. i really want to go out there just to go out there, you know? Because it's a new city, it's a road trip, all my usual reasons for wanting to go somewhere, but this time it's not just a vacation, it's prolonging a really fucked up relationship.
he texted me a lot today, and we talked on the phone. he misses me and told all his friends about me and put them on the phone to have them tell me how awesome atlanta is and how they'll have a great party for me when i visit. it's cute. and it hurts.
I was ranting to one of my gay friends about this today. You think girls can talk shit on men... shit! you should hear gay guys do it! they are men, and they talk more shit than I've ever heard, it's funny... anyway, I said I felt stupid because marc and i were together for three weeks, that's not enough to form a relationship that you miss, you know? And my friends were like, "It's enough time to get obsessive about someone, and that's what you have, obsessiveness." they're so right. that's what I'm doing, I'm not thinking logically, I'm obsessing.
so yeah, sorry my livejournal sucks now, I really am. you're all welcome to remind me how much it sucks. I won't be mad at you.