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I was in my parent's house and they have a south beach diet book. I picked it up and read the first chapter. One of the things you cut out for the first two weeks was alcohol, and I laughed and joked to my friend about how that'd be impossible... I can't go two weeks without alcohol!

But thinking back on that this morning, it's not that funny. My drinking this summer has become excessive. Yes, I'm going out and having fun and it's a great time, and it's not like I'm coming home from work every day announcing that I need to get drunk. I just drink. a LOT. Take this weekend... on thursday, I was so drunk someone else had to drive my car home. Friday, I split a bottle of wine with my sister to celebrate just being home. Saturday, it was massive quantities of frozen margarita at a kansas city friend's apartment. Sunday, it was beer with my roommate... and I didn't get drunk (finally) but I was drinking, just like always, with every group of people I come into contact with.

I still feel like I'm not doing anything that I regret, but, well, there's a lot going on. Like Thursday... I was smart enough to know I couldn't drive home, but the guy I handed my keys to had been drinking. How is that safe? I was in a bad situation... I needed to get to work the next day. Alcohol made the situation. It makes me question my relationships and do things with people that aren't right. It makes people think I've got to be the life of the party, a lot.

So, starting today, I am not drinking anything for two weeks. After that, my goal will be to only drink once a week, and not GET drunk every single time, either. I need to learn to just hang out with my friends without poisoning my brain, and I need to get some damn homework done instead of sleeping off hangovers. I need to go to a bar and not feel bad about drinking water... I tip well, and if a bartender feels like I'm cheap, who the fuck cares?

No drinking until September 19th. And no, I will not get drunk on September 19th to celebrate, either.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 5th, 2005 02:41 pm (UTC)
I remember the feeling of making that decision. It's so not fun. But absolute best of luck with getting to September 19th.

What I find helps is to say (having done the cold turkey thing) that I won't drink on 'work nights' as a rule, and two nights of the week maximum. That seems to strike a sensible medium, as well as meaning that a lot less booze has a greater effect, thus cutting the need to drink tons and poison your liver to feel anything. But obviously that's my experience and you have to choose what you feel comfortable with.
Sep. 5th, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
Good for you.

I was actually starting to get worried about the recent tone of your posts. I remember in days past when you'd talk about work, or about being a woman in the workplace, or about the future.

I'm not going to go back and count, but I bet you had a string of several straight posts where you described a night of drinking.
Sep. 5th, 2005 04:04 pm (UTC)
well, I've certainly had strings of drinking nights to talk about.

I always thought my work posts were pretty boring, but when that was all I had going on I was much healthier and had more money! There've been other times in my life when I wrote about one thing... election campaigns come to mind... but they always had a defined stopping point when I'd be able to go back to being who I was. this crap doesn't, it just gets bigger. so. yeah.
Sep. 5th, 2005 05:02 pm (UTC)
I liked them. I like hearing about what inspires you. About your passions.

When you post about parties and bars and other things, I feel more like I'm gawking at some spectacle. I mean, I read them, too, but I'm more uncomfortable with them--I guess because I'm not often around people in that situation, so it feels more like I'm some sort of intruder into your life.
Sep. 5th, 2005 03:37 pm (UTC)
Good choice. If you feel like you can't go two weeks without drinking alcohol, then you need to go two weeks without drinking alcohol.
Sep. 5th, 2005 03:51 pm (UTC)
It is a good choice and one that I sincerely believe you will succeed in. Mostly, I have faith in the things that you work to accomplish. Look how far you have gotten; now to work on something that you can do easily :)
Sep. 5th, 2005 04:46 pm (UTC)
I've been feeling the exact same way lately. Actually the gf and I were talking about it a couple of days ago that we wanted to cut down on our drinking because we feel it's gotten too excessive. We're going cold turkey after this weekend. It aint gonna be easy, alcohol it just so tasty and nice, but I think we can do it.
The big problem for me is when I go out for poker nite I consume way more then my share of beer. It's going to be odd trying to look nonchalant sipping a bottle of water next time I bluff with a pair of eights.
Sep. 5th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC)
On the other hand, mabye you'll be able to bluff better because they think you're too sober to do something so crazy. :)
Sep. 5th, 2005 04:58 pm (UTC)
sounds like a plan.
Sep. 5th, 2005 05:11 pm (UTC)
I think this is a good challenge for you, and I wish you the best of luck in completing it:)
Sep. 5th, 2005 06:12 pm (UTC)
I don't think you'll have a problem doing it, but best of luck anyways.
Sep. 5th, 2005 07:44 pm (UTC)
Good for you! You really impress me so much. You're awesome.
Sep. 5th, 2005 10:07 pm (UTC)
Good luck. I gave it up for Lent this past year, and that was really tough. I'm not a big drinker by any means - prior to last weekend's Beer Festival, I hadn't been drunk in aeons - but I do like a nice glass of wine with dinner.
Sep. 6th, 2005 01:01 am (UTC)
You know, I feel somewhat relieved seeing this from you. Because I was starting to wonder and worry.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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