Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,
Spacefem
spacefem

agamemnon

I got home last night and my little aggy had died. I feel so crushed and broken hearted and I don't know what to do right now; I'll miss her so much. Is it bad that I didn't cry at all when a family member recently died, but the loss of this bird has broken my heart?

I called my boss to say I'd be late today. I have aggy in a box that I think I'll take to a vet to ask what they do with these animals. I live in an apartment, I can't just go to some public land and bury her, I don't feel like that's secure. I'm sure the vet does something incensitive but I want them to do it, and I'll even pay them, I just need to hand her to someone.

I have so much to do at work but I can't go thirty minutes without crying right now. my goal is to pull it together by 10 to make it in, but I feel like if anyone talks to me I'll just lose it. I wish my sister wasn't in scotland. I can't call her, and she's the only one I want to talk to about this.

last night I wanted to write here but couldn't. instead, I got the cardboard box to put aggy in, and I wrote on the box. I wrote everything about her, and every silly little memory I could think of, and whatever vet I take her to they're going to think I'm nuts because this box is covered with black sharpie now but it felt right, and I had so much to say. so much that this little life represented, and it's all gone from the world.
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