Spacefem (spacefem) wrote,


Was talking to my parents about my drive to work each day. There's a big highway that goes all the way around the city, and there are two that go right through the middle. I go right through the middle. Yes, I could drive around the outside, it'd be a little longer physically but there'd be a lot less traffic so the time element would be about the same. But for some reason I don't really mind the traffic in the middle of the city. I sort of like it. I like six lanes full of cars, the sparkling headlights in the morning, the quick lane changes and merges and the whole bit of it. I think it's interesting. I like seeing the sunrise reflect off the tall buildings downtown. I like being a part of all the humanity.

They reminded me about how much I'd always loved really populated areas. when I was 14 I went on a mission trip to Chicago and came back proclaiming that I was in love with that city and had to grow up and live there forever, it was my dream. The buildings, the people, the L, the whole bit was just so captivating to me I felt like I was being called there. So what happened? I kind of settled for Wichita. Nice enough place to live. It's a real city, after all. Low cost of living. Money to be made. Nothing huge to take over but we'll survive.

It all got me thinking about it again. I've never even been to new york or L.A. even though I'd really like to see them. I'm not sure I really want to live in Chicago anymore... what would I do? How could I afford an apartment? For $400 a month in Wichita, you get a nice 700 square foot one bedroom with a walk-in closet. For that much in Chicago I think you get a van down by the river, but I'm not sure if even that's possible.

I'm comfortable. I guess maybe some comfort won over my ambition. My parents acted like they were so happy I'd gotten those crazy "must move to an enormous city and conquer" ideas out of my head. Really I haven't though. they're just different. more grown up I guess. conservative. I'm not really sure how to feel about it all.
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