Something caught my eye on this bill though. Insurance is weird. Companies lock up these geeks in little rooms who look at numbers all day long and figure up how much you're supposed to pay if you're a 19 year old female with blue eyes driving a foriegn car with no tickets but two accidents and both were on tuesday but one was in the dark and you have a retail job and your dog's name is Harvey and you like bananas. Numbers never lie. Insurance people all over the world are developing formulas using these numbers to tell you when you're going get injured, cause an accident, start a fire, experience an earthquake flood or tornado, or do everything at once and die tragically in one big nasty insurance provider's worst and most expensive nightmare.
This time however I noticed that Good Student Discounts are available only to males and unmarried females under the age of 25. I'm totally stumped on this one. Once a female gets married, she's no longer a good student? Being a good student has no effect on females once we're married? Maybe married females are the most incredible drivers in the world and already get insurance from the companies for free, just for being so glorious, so a good student discount would mean nothing? Why are males still good students? Just shitty enough drivers that every little factor counts?
This applies to me because I get an Extended Good Student Discount of around $120 a year until I get married or turn 25, which makes me think that I should really encourage every woman to NOT get married before the age of 25. It sounded like a good age before, but now that my insurance company has threatened to take away discounts as a penalty I'm sure of it.
I'm tempted to call my agent and ask what my rate would be if I got married. I mean really, I should know. If it's only going to go down like $50 a year I need to make a more positive effort to spend less time with men who I might fall helplessly in love with and want to marry. Like, run screaming if I see Owen Wilson in the street, that sort of thing. Or at least analyze a guy's net worth so I can tell if he'll be worth losing the good student discount. This isn't something you men (apparently) have to worry about, since you seem to be good students no matter who you're with. Or something.
I'll never get it.
I just want to see the numbers, that's all. I like looking at numbers, I can handle it. I want the formula, to see how I fit in. Eh, go figure.