September 2nd, 2021


a full night's sleep

I can't remember when I started waking up early. I never slept in. Even as a kid, I was that annoying one at the slumber parties who wakes up first and has no idea what to do. staring at my sleeping friends, eating breakfast with the parents. I think I slept in high school and college and in my 20s. I definitely know I didn't sleep when I was pregnant. I'd wake up at 4am or 2am... for my first baby we were saving up for a house and work was so busy they'd pay me for overtime, so that's what I did. just went to work. for my second baby I had been promoted enough that I didn't get paid for overtime, just worked it for fun, but I was running that etsy shop and sewing and 3am was a quiet time to get projects done.

nowdays I run, sometimes, unless I don't feel like running. lately I've been a huge slacker in the running department. it's so dang hot and humid it doesn't even feel good so I've been laying back a lot. sometimes I read. or go downstairs and watch tv. or just lay there listening to podcasts. or worst of all, play cell phone games.

it's okay 1-2 times a week when it lines up with my workout schedule and I'm motivated enough to go outside, but when it's more than that... I just wish I could sleep all night. I'd feel so much better. on those rare days when I sleep until 5am I feel so good.

I tried going to bed later, it doesn't make a difference. I tried running for miles, it doesn't make me tired enough to sleep.

I think I'm just made for a 21 or 22 hour planet, not a 24 hour one.

this morning I woke up and didn't feel like running. but just to test it, I walked outside and took a deep breath and looked up at the stars, and it changed my mind. I changed clothes and went out to run in the dark.