August 19th, 2020

planet

real conversations from my latest attempts to sell things on facebook marketplace

in case you've never done this, every single one starts with a buyer messaging me: "Hi spacefem, is this available?"

Then in a perfect transaction, I ask for a pickup time, they give me a time pretty soon, I set it on my porch, a few hours later the item is gone and there's some sweaty US cash in my mailbox for me to chlorox wipe off. But my inbox is full of responses that make me feel quizzical, and I'm never sure what kind of response these folks are looking for.

Back to the conversation. I say "Yes! When would you like to pick it up? I live near (major intersection)" and then...

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Person A: nothing for several hours.
Person A: Well now the item says it's 'pending pickup'
me: Yup! I had another lady message me and she's on her way.
Person A: I was asleep. I suffer from bipolar.

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Person B: I can pick it up after work.
Me: Great! Check in with me before you head out, if it's still here I'll send the address.
Me: Hey sorry it got sold!
Person B: I thought you said I could pick it up after work?
Me: Yup, somebody else already paid and picked it up.
Person B: But I was at work.

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Person C: Oh I don't know I just wanted to send this to my mom.

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Person D: I live way up north in Park City, will you meet me closer to my house?
Me: No sorry, I don't have plans to be in that area. I can set this out on my porch though.
Person D: But it's far away.

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Yes, dear facebook marketplacers. You have missed out on a weird old makerspace office chair, a thing from my kitchen, a bag of kids clothes, because somebody else got it first. That is how selling stuff works. Do these people walk into regular stores and say "How could you be out of my favorite salad dressing? I was at work today." What are their lives and expectations like? What did they think would happen after they messaged me? Only they know, friends. Only they know.