April 19th, 2020


internal clocks

normal night for me: come home from work, feel like winding down at like 8pm. hang out with the family and stay busy until 9. do some evening yoga/stretches and cleaning to make myself stay up until 9:30 or 10 because I know if I actually go to sleep like my body wants to right now, I'll wake up at 3 or 4 am. actual bedtime is between 9:30 and 10. I don't read after 8, because I'll go right to sleep. if my mind is really churning I'll turn on a low-key podcast and set the timer for 15 minutes. I never make it to the end of the 15 minutes.

huge party night for me: let's pretend we have a house full of people and I've had a cup of coffee and am staying up late conversing. I might be able to stay up until 11 - but I'll be feeling it. thank goodness marc can stay up and has learned to cover for me. yes, I ghost out of my own parties. no matter what time I get to bed, I will still wake up before 7am.

normal night for my 9 year old: around 9pm we say it's bedtime, she takes a book to bed because we don't allow devices on school nights.

let's pretend we don't do that - just tell her, stay up as late as you want, play videogames, whatever. she will be awake ALL NIGHT. Like, I woke up once at 4am this week, and heard her talking to her friends on her headset playing fortnight. then she'll sleep until 1 in the afternoon. it's like whatever internal clock I have, that makes me want to sleep at 9, she doesn't have.

how great would that be for traveling? when I went to europe I FELT like it was 2 in the morning during our business meetings, surrounded by people, sunshine streaming through the windows. My body was screaming "this is so wrong" and everything was in a cloud. even my ears didn't feel like they were hearing right. I was shaky like I was on drugs. but my kid can just shift 8-12 hours whenever she feels like it. youth really is wasted on the young.