February 4th, 2020


gym visits

during some election cycle when people were asking questions of the makerspace board candidates, someone asked what we'd be doing with our time if we weren't absorbed in makerspace. I don't know where the question came from, but I did not answer the question. thinking of the answer made me unhappy, because the list of things I'd be doing was basically all the health and self-care I'd been neglecting. if I wasn't running this crazy non-profit on the side of a day job I also work at too many hours, you mean? I was HAPPY, don't get me wrong. I loved being president of the board. but sometimes when marc and I were tag-teaming to meet friends, attend a charity event, speak at a protest, and shuck girl scout cookies, the evenings and weekends got kinda full. okay we jokingly called it the "community involvement death march". I really do mean jokingly, because even when it's exhausting we are still happy, I am not someone who's happy just watching TV and staring at my three family members and rotating assortment of pets. a MILLION years ago I was on the board of a gay rights organization during an insane national election cycle, and I asked an activist mentor about being tired. he shrugged, said "I'll sleep when I'm dead!" and grabbed our next list of 100 phone numbers off the printer.

In life I have meandered from one leadership role to another, never just going home after work. but some years it's tougher than others. and this year is going to be a light one. I need to get in shape for one thing. it's not good to neglect health.

so I go to the gym. that was my goal. I screwed myself up in 2018 trying to do youtube yoga, but I thought maybe if I do group yoga at the YMCA, I'll get more pointers.

the difference I think is that when I did youtube yoga I was always drawn towards the quicker, easier, 20 minute workout. then 15 minute workout. then 10. there's got to be a 60 second video out there.

the gym classes are one hour. I must take one hour to slow down and reflect. everything is gradual. you don't jump into some big stretch right off the bat.

and I like it better if I'm already warm, so I jog around the track. I'm up to 15 minutes now, I can keep running.

In yoga, the teacher always says to modify as you see fit. listen to your body. do as much or as little as you like. do what works for you. but she's doing a half-inverted-lizard or whatever, and you realize that it's not so easy. what you want to do vs. what you should do, what you'll be proud of later, all different things.

much like every other activity. looking back, you're always happier when you did more. so... don't listen to your body.

a coworker was ranting that she refuses to do volunteer work because she thinks all work should be valued and all her time is her own, so she is not interested in clubs or community events, and again... thinks my weekends are crazy. But I don't know what else is so great to do. I guess she's listening to her body.