January 8th, 2014


you will not believe this livejournal entry (about how much I hate upworthy's article titles)

Here are websites that I refuse to click on, no matter how tempting the title seems.

E-How - they make you think they have THE ANSWER for, say, how to oil your Kenmore 423G sewing machine. But you click the article and after three paragraphs selling you sewing machine oil, the "final" step will turn out to be something like "get out the Kenmore 423G user manual and oil wherever it says to." AHGGG!

Parents magazine - Every article will be a list. Every list will be a "slideshow". Every "slide" will take ten minutes to load. I have internet and computers fast enough to stream all the lord of the rings movies at once but I'll never be able to get through a parents magazine article in less than two hours. so, screw them.

About.com - Crusty navigation, a maze of text your eyes can never follow, more ads than content.

and today's new one... upworthy

Share their links on facebook friends, I don't give a shit anymore. I am so sick of seeing headlines like "this blue circle will amaze you!" or "you will never guess what this alligator is hiding!", and you click the page and there's a ten minute video to watch, and buried somewhere after seven minutes of shaky cell phone nothingness there's something that sort of resembles the title. I don't care if they're cool and feministy. Upworthy sucks.

And while I'm at it, whenever I see anything on the internet with the caption "mind = blown", it's a pretty fair bet my mind will not really be blown. I'm talking to you, stupid facts on pinterest.