September 6th, 2013

planet

annual rant on parties where women sell crap to each other

Last spring at our early cinco de mayo party I had a really nice chat with a former neighbor, we caught up a bit and found out we were both selling stuff on the internet so we shared about that, I showed her my mini photo booth, we talked about profit margin goals, it was very bourgeois fabulous.

A few months later I find out through facebook that she's also representing a line of cosmetics and skin care products that slow down the effects of aging with amazing results (sigh) and this weekend I'm invited to her demonstration party, which I am SOOO not interested in. In fact I'm basically anti-interested in it, I go beyond not wanting this stuff for myself and into wishing that no woman would be interested in it. We should be proud to be aging. Hell, 100 years ago an embarassingly large percentage of women died in childbirth before they hit the ripe old age of 25, just the fact that we all hit 40 should be a "you've come a long way baby" moment. We should have an aging party to celebrate feminists who legalized birth control and pushed for maternal health standards.

I digress.

Years ago I declared that I was generally against parties that are about women selling crap to each other. I used to attend politely if I had nothing better to do, until one Saturday I found myself at a party where presenter/seller interrupted the hour-long jewelry commercial to tell us how being saved by the blood of Christ was really what got her going, and this necklace business was just something she could do to make sure her family had the money for her to stay home with the kiddos like Jesus intended. How each day she dwelled on the fact that Christ was nailed to the cross for her sins, proving that God had a plan, and surely that plan involves imported silver plated bracelets. Those weren't her exact words but that's what I gathered, and I also had a God moment, which felt like He was telling me to never go to one of these pyramid-scheme selling crap parties again.

I'll go to cooking show events, since I buy kitchen stuff anyway and there's usually pretty good food. But only if the host is someone who I've hung out with for non-commercial reasons in the past year. Seriously.

Digressed again. This is why my journal sucks.

I think too many women are pretending like these shopping parties are fun and we need to be honest with ourselves and each other, especially when our friends act excited about anti-aging lotion. I hoped we'd all see how ridiculous we looked when we saw Uncle Rico's "natural enhancement solution" in Napoleon Dynamite. But no, my neighbor not only invited me to her party, she's sending me facebook messages about how she would love to catch up with me and really hopes I show up on Saturday. The question to you friends: how honest should I be?

Correct party invite response is...

No response, just don't show up.
5(10.4%)
Say I'm busy/washing my hair
6(12.5%)
Be honest. Product is not for me.
32(66.7%)
Be really honest. Entire plan is bad for SOCIETY AS A WHOLE
5(10.4%)


I know, I know. Don't be "that feminist" who has to be all crazy and go on a soapbox about a simple facebook invite. I can't help it. It's not like a switch I can turn off, people.