June 13th, 2013

planet

the freedom of silence

We finally found it: the worst movie on Netflix! Actually my friend (and ironically enough, filmmaker) Lee found it... but here goes. I guess I should say this entry contains spoilers, except that word implies that if you don't read this entry, you might enjoy the movie, which you won't.

"The Freedom of Silence" is about America in the future, Christianity has been OUTLAWED and it's up to two computer hackers to expose the truth. It all started with a president who bypassed the house and senate to enact universal healthcare... totally antichrist shit right there people! And the world went downhill to a place where kids are taught in school that there's no such thing as right and wrong! And the Bible is illegal! And Christians are totally persecuted!

The movie is terrible for many reasons, as one Netflix reviewer said, "even if right-wing Christian hysteria is your thing". Plot holes, drawn out dialog, pointless scenes. Another review mentioned that you'll find better acting in HR training videos.

But I think it's worth watching just for awesome highlights like:

- Anti-christian FBI agent dissing on the Constitution, since we all know anti-christians are always trying to fuck with/amend the constitution... wait...

- Random kid finds a bible, reads it cover to cover, and totally converts over to Christianity because it just all makes so much sense to him now.

- The heroes are shown throughout the movie working on their computer hacking project... holding circuit boards, and heat sinks! the tools of the 1337! Then they send a copy of the bible to "every email address in the world" and take over everyone's TVs to quote Bible verses which will also totally convert everyone to Christianity!

Odds are you won't be able to stand more than five minutes of this, but if you do, I'd suggest drinking heavily. Take a shot every time a scene drags on way too long, or better yet, for every miserable logical failure or over-paranoid cultural reference. Then it'll be a good time!