January 9th, 2012

planet

how not breastfeeding is going

Six months after I had Josie, my pregnancy baby weight was more than gone. My pre-pregnancy slacks were too big. I weighed less than I did in high school. And I was still eating ALL THE TIME! I joked with my husband that I felt pretty damn sexy and skinny, but I was worried that my crap eating habits would really haunt me when breastfeeding curbed off a little.

Well now I'm done breastfeeding and you know, magically, the eating curbed off too. I have a salad for lunch now and I'm full. I can eat a piece of toast for breakfast. I'm not dependent on a stash of snacks in my desk. Some days I don't even eat chocolate! This is a big deal, bigger than you think, because I seriously was eating chocolate every day because, well, I just wanted it.

I was just reading a post on the no longer quivering blog from these women who are pregnant and nursing for 5, 10, 15 years non-stop, and the author mentions being amazed with her energy levels once she escaped the reproductive cycle. I just can't imagine. I mean, I could see having two kids closer together but five? It's all you do.

After I had Josie I remember telling a nurse at the hospital that despite the recovery battle ahead of me, it was still pretty awesome being not pregnant. The shift to "not nursing" hasn't been as dramatic, but still noticeable. I'm still incredibly thankful for birth control and the freedom to space out any more kids I might have. I keep saying the same thing over and over... if I'd been born 80 years ago, in a time when most women had babies one after another, I would not be an electrical engineer. I would be a baby-haver. There's no energy, too much recovery time taken out, the leash-that-is-nursing is too short to do a whole lot else if you're having kids right on top of each other for decades.

I still love that Josie and I had a such a great breastfeeding relationship for so long, but being able to take care of just me for a while is so wonderful, and just reinforces my belief that the breaks between babies, and delaying babies, makes more difference in a woman's life than anything we can possibly imagine.