November 28th, 2011

planet

My suggestion for @emmakate988's #heblowsalot apology letter

So last week and 18-year-old Kansas girl tweeted that our governor "sucks", and because Brownback is a jerk (surprise!) he complained to her principal, who lectured her for an hour and now wants her to write an apology letter.  I feel for Emma, so I want to help out.  Here's how I'd apologize:

Dear Governor Brownback:

I am sorry that I had to write a tweet to my 60 followers last week informing them that you suck.  I hold the deepest respect for the Kansas Governor's office, and am sad that the tweet I wrote hit such a nerve with the general population who agreed with me about the job you're doing.

I'm sorry that I couldn't think of anything good to say about your term in office so far.  I'm sorry that you'd rather spend your time checking off anti-abortion bills by the truckload than finding ways to fund Kansas arts or education.  I'm sorry that you think Kansas mothers should marry their way out of poverty.  I'm sorry that our state ranks 48th in energy efficiency, because apparently your love for God doesn't translate into love for the Earth He made for us, only slashing at women's reproductive rights.

The only thing I'm not sorry about is that you chose to call attention to my tweet in hopes that my principal would bully me into relinquishing my free speech rights.  Now instead of my 60 followers hearing that you blow a lot, the hashtag has been retweeted at least 5,000 times a day for the last four days.  I'm sorry that so many people have to hear that Kansas's governor has the wrong priorities, attitude and first amendment respect that his office requires.

Basically, I'm sorry that you're our governor.