September 13th, 2008

planet

(no subject)

a lady I used to work with sent me an e-vite to a mary kay party. in case you're new to this journal, my battle with middle class women and "selling you shit" parties has been a ongoing, troubling theme. I felt like they were bullshit, then I realized I was sure they were bullshit, and now I feel no shame in saying so. But it's taken years.

before we get to this though, can I express how inappropriate it is to give someone's e-mail address to e-vite? Or any other site, for that matter? Never type someone's e-mail address into any website. Ughrgh!

So I didn't respond, and Thursday at work she calls me. Mind you, this is not a friend of mine, she's never invited me to anything else, we haven't spoken since she had twins and left the office.

Her: I didn't hear back from you about the party Friday! Will you be joining us?

Me: No, I'm sorry, I'm not going to make it.

Her: Oh that's too bad! Do you have other plans?

Me: No, I sure don't. I just hate makeup. yeah, I could have lied to be polite. but why?

Her: (laughs nervously) Oh. Well it's not just makeup, there are lots of skincare products, a spa line, you might really enjoy it.

Me: You know, it's amazing, I'm not interested in any of that. Lotions. Soaps. I can't stand it at all. at this point, I'm doing my stepford wife impression because I think the irony is amusing.

Her: Well the holidays are coming up you know! Do you have any hard-to-shop-for people on your Christmas list?

Me, and at this point I cannot freaking believe we're still talking: I wouldn't buy the stuff for them either. In fact I can't think of a single thing that would motivate me to support any part of the idea of buying it.

Her: Okay, well, take care then I guess!

Me: Well you too! Thanks for calling!

I know you're thinking that this conversation was over-dramatized for the internet. It's not. This is exactly what I said, and exactly how long it took her to leave me the frack alone. I think I'm going to start my own line of hostess gifts... big ceramic middle fingers you can send to people when you're tired of buying all their crap. Lotions? Seriously? It's amazing how pleasantly moisturized I feel with the stuff that's $2.50 from Target. But she just kept asking questions! Whyyyy!