December 22nd, 2007

planet

us time

I officially can't watch Grey's Anatomy any more, it just sucks entirely too much.

Why must every medical drama overplay the whole "neglected spouse" storyline? I cannot imagine this really happening all the time, in real life. Doctors are smart people. They're smart enough, I think, to marry someone who isn't a whiny, self-absorbed need-a-thon who can't comprehend the idea that a guy having heart surgery might have less flexible schedule requirements then themselves.

I mean hell, I'm not even a doctor, but it was pretty obvious to me that I could only have relationships with people who understood, or better, valued, my time requirements. What kind of person says, "I'm so insecure about our relationship, I'm going to call out a random time and date when you will drop everything in your life, no matter what it means to anyone else, to prove how important I am to you." If anyone said that to me, they would quickly become less important. If Marc asks me to go out to dinner with him, and I have an exam coming up, or a crazy time with an airplane happening, it might not happen right then. He knows I love him. We don't have to make random awful sacrifices to prove that we're important to one another. I can't relate to couples who honestly don't have that figured out yet.

I can tell the difference between a relationship where the person is avoiding me and doesn't think I'm important, and one where there's just a lot going on in the other person's life and I have to find my spot. But that's the deal with relationships... the person has a spot for you to start with. You don't push your way in and make it. It's always there, before you're born, waiting for you, and the other person lets you in.

Maybe television writers are the ones who have these balance issues.