September 24th, 2006


emergency contraception

blogger is refused EC

fabulous (and by fabulous, I mean horrifying) story of one woman's attempts to avoid unplanned pregnancy and abortion by using emergency contraception. She poses the moral of the story as a question, but personally I'd say that the moral of the story is this: If you live in a state where people sometimes judge others according to unfair moral standards (and Kansas is one of those states, local friends), and you're female, and you can imagine a situation where you might need emergency contraception, get a prescription NOW. And if your doctor won't write one, get another doctor. Then find out what pharmacies you'll be able to get it filled at.

I personally think it's very wrong for pharmacies to tell their workers to fill prescriptions for medicine if they feel like it.

I'm an engineer with great experience in the aircraft industry. There are a hundred reasons I'd love to work for Lockheed Martin or Boeing... good money, could lead to aerospace, could lead to NASA, you name it, but I'll never apply at those companies because I don't want to make bombs. I don't even want to work for a company that makes them, even if they told me I wouldn't wind up on a military project, I'm uncomfortable with the whole situation.

What I'm saying is that my company has ethics guidelines that they publish, sets of standards, and it's mostly about the limits to gifts you can get from suppliers and responsibility to report environmental hazards and all that, but my point is that they draw a line, and if I disagree with that line I don't have to work there. If you're uneducated enough to believe that EC is the same as an abortion, and you disagree with abortion, and you're working for a pharamacy that says, "It's okay for us to make money off something half our employees disagree with" then you're in moral gray area, okay? you, the worker. not us, the sex fiends. we know what's right and we're not using subversive, misleading tactics to make people think we're with them so we can turn around and not be.

five years of livejournal

Today, I have been on livejournal for five years. FIVE YEARS! 1,487 journal entries. 4,560 comments posted. 15,250 received.

So I've been going through some journal stuff this week, reading through old entries, trying to organize things... it hasn't gone as nicely as I expected. For one thing, what's the fundamental difference between Memories and Tags? They seem to do the exact same damn thing... if anyone has a guideline for what to use when, let me know, I've got five years of journalling to update.

Until then, since I've always tried to use memories, that's what I used. I have my entire relationship with the angry man as one memory... I actually think it's amazing. I mean, we met. Then a year later we were dating. Then another year later we were breaking up. And it's very "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", if you ask me, having a whole relationship chronicled like that. I guess to me it's valuable because it's my story, but on another level it's a story, about how you can *almost* make something work out, then look back on it and understand why you didn't. Movies about people breaking up are always so obvious, they have to make everybody relate to all the right characters. it's not real. in real life you don't always relate to the characters or the reasons, there aren't reasons, you know?

And then there was the story about fighting the anti-gay Kansas marriage amendment. I remember wondering why anyone would friend me during that time, because it was a lot of political whining, but now that I look back on it I'm really proud of what I did and what I learned. I can't believe how much it changed me. I now know two incredibly, irreplaceable things about life: First, if you want to change the world, nobody's stopping you from getting off your ass to change it. Second, it'll hurt. It's hard work. You don't know how hard it is, and you don't know how weird it makes you until you look around and realize how little most of the population does for the greater good. Eventually, you start to just do what you can, but there's always that knowledge in the back of your head that if you needed to, if you had to, you could change everything. Change people. Lead a movement. In this city of half a million people, I know that I personally made an impact, and it wasn't because I was anything special, it was pure blood, sweat, and tears.

There are scattered entries about my job, mostly because things that effect work aren't things you can really publish on the internet. It's too bad, because there've been some amazing, passionate moments tied to company projects that I definetly had things to say about. I wrote about the interview and getting the job, and then had scattered stories about the people (characters, really) who I worked with, until I got the chance to go work on the new airplane. the brand new, not even prototyped airplane. I worked for over a year before it flew, then another year and a half before it was certified, and now it'll be months before we actually deliver it to someone. I was given opportunities along the way... early this year, I could have gone someplace more scientific, or I could have gone someplace where I would have traveled more and worked with customers, but after thinking about it long and hard I stayed where I was. I decided that all the overtime and head butting and frustration was worth it... more than anything, I want a chance to build another airplane. If I stay where I'm at and use patience it'll happen... for now, these days are nice, I get to answer phone calls from our pilots using the system I helped design, and I talk with my group about what cool new features we'll have as options.

I opened up all my entries about agamemnon, the little parakeet who I shared so much with... when I first wrote about aggy's death I wasn't ready for everyone to see it, I kept it locked off, but knew eventually that it'd be okay to have it out there, so anyone else who's heartbroken over the loss of a pet know they're not alone, if anything.

There's other stuff I'll have to better organize for it to really tell a story... that first year I had this journal, I was finishing my engineering degree, and now I've started another one. And there's marc's story that's been going on for a year but I have this feeling like it's just the beginning, still. funny feeling.

So five years ago when I noticed everyone around me on livejournal, I figured I'd never get into it. I'm an engineer, not a writer, what could I have to say? But I guess I had something after all because I've stuck with it and it's been incredibly rewarding. One of those "I'm glad I wasn't born way before the internet was" sort of things.

here's to five more years, hey friends?