September 5th, 2005



I was in my parent's house and they have a south beach diet book. I picked it up and read the first chapter. One of the things you cut out for the first two weeks was alcohol, and I laughed and joked to my friend about how that'd be impossible... I can't go two weeks without alcohol!

But thinking back on that this morning, it's not that funny. My drinking this summer has become excessive. Yes, I'm going out and having fun and it's a great time, and it's not like I'm coming home from work every day announcing that I need to get drunk. I just drink. a LOT. Take this weekend... on thursday, I was so drunk someone else had to drive my car home. Friday, I split a bottle of wine with my sister to celebrate just being home. Saturday, it was massive quantities of frozen margarita at a kansas city friend's apartment. Sunday, it was beer with my roommate... and I didn't get drunk (finally) but I was drinking, just like always, with every group of people I come into contact with.

I still feel like I'm not doing anything that I regret, but, well, there's a lot going on. Like Thursday... I was smart enough to know I couldn't drive home, but the guy I handed my keys to had been drinking. How is that safe? I was in a bad situation... I needed to get to work the next day. Alcohol made the situation. It makes me question my relationships and do things with people that aren't right. It makes people think I've got to be the life of the party, a lot.

So, starting today, I am not drinking anything for two weeks. After that, my goal will be to only drink once a week, and not GET drunk every single time, either. I need to learn to just hang out with my friends without poisoning my brain, and I need to get some damn homework done instead of sleeping off hangovers. I need to go to a bar and not feel bad about drinking water... I tip well, and if a bartender feels like I'm cheap, who the fuck cares?

No drinking until September 19th. And no, I will not get drunk on September 19th to celebrate, either.