July 14th, 2005

planet

education

So I was talking to a coworker about a canoe trip that a bunch of us are planning for later in August, and he's like, "The last trip was really cool, and not too crazy. I'd kind of like to take my son on this next one, he'd really like it, I'm just afraid of, um... you know."

"People getting drunk?"

"No, he's seen that."

"People getting drunk and throwing up?"

"No, that might actually be a positive lesson for him. I'm thinking more of the, uh, exhibitioning that I've heard can happen."

"OH! Girls getting drunk and showing their boobs!"

"Exactly! I know it didn't happen last time, I'm just a little nervous. I haven't had that talk with him yet."

It's true, on a previous trip we went on there was a little indecent exposure going on. No Hot Spacefem Boobs, mind you, I've never been that drunk and I figure enough of me is on the internet anyway, I don't need to risk having my topless self out here too, but there were some other girls who were just that insane. Always makes for a fun trip, yes?

But I wondered after our conversation... what exactly is that talk, and how do you start it with your ten-year-old?

Son, sometimes when a young lady gets very drunk and there are no digital cameras around, something very special happens...

You know those commercials that we sometimes see on television that mommy makes us change the channel for?

We'll go on this trip together, but if anyone mentions beads or peircings we're going home.

I'm so glad I don't have kids. They'd be ruined. I would have already had every talk with them, I'm sure.