March 4th, 2005


in it right now

I like to say that I take everything pretty lightly. Sure, I'm a feminist, but I can make fun of the movement and stereotypes about it. I'm a Christian, but I can make fun of how sheep-like religious types can be. I'm starting to realize though that gay rights isn't something I can take lightly.

There's a guy at work who I like to debate politics with. He's a conservative, and I'm semi-conservative, and we joke about how republicans are evil and democrats are stupid. He's cool. Then today he says, "I've got to talk to you about that bumper sticker on your car now... that 'Love needs no amendment'!" I was like, "What about it? Are you for the state marriage amendment?"

He said he was all for it, because he "didn't want to have to pay for all that." all what? benefits for their partners, mostly. I told him same-sex marriage was very much illegal, and the chances of an activist judge in Kansas overturning that are pretty low. He said they overturned it in other states, so it could happen here. I just sort of changed the subject.

But the more I thought about it I just got fucking steamed. Doesn't want to pay for it? Does he think an amendment is free? Does he not know about all the lawsuits, contested wills, revoked power of attorney that other states have seen because their loyal, moral citizens decided to pass a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT saying that you can't do anything for unmarried people that you do for married ones, no matter what their relationship? that's court money to settle that! taxpayer money! thousands and thousands of dollars... if it was just a marriage amendment, maybe that would have been okay, but they go after civil unions and there's no cheap way to do that. it dramatically changes the way we look at legal agreements and the courts have to re-evaluate everything that was "constitutional" before the constitution was fucked with.

And what's this bullshit about paying, anyway? He's got a wife and kids at home that I'M paying for! I don't get any more salary, and his family gets thousands and thousands in benefits, just because he's married! That's me paying, asshole!

I feel like our whole friendly fun coworker relationship is just ruined. I can't even look at him, I'm so mad that I didn't say the right thing and he's on the wrong side. Then I get mad because I've thrown too much of myself into this issue. I can't debate it for fun. shit, what do you do when it's not fun anymore?

I'm too serious and I don't know how to get un-serious. I'm more serious than the average gay person, for God's sake... they're not all out phone banking! They're not writing letters! If they all were, this fight would be a hell of a lot easier, but too many of them here hate politics.

I don't know how to come down off it.