October 5th, 2003

andromeda

?

I just have one question for everyone and I'm writing it tonight.

It's like this: we get this life, and some of us walk down the street always feeling empty until one day our eyes meet with the eyes of some stranger and our heart devotes itself right there to their eternal happiness, and we get together and everything feels right forever all the days of that life we get.

That's just some of us though. Then there's the rest of us. We fall close to love but it's not all right. We fall out. We keep trying. Lather, rinse, repeat. It doesn't work again. There's no longer any wide-eyed innocence waiting for a stranger sitting in a warm cafe to say hello. No heartfelt commitments. The heart isn't allowed to do anything without consulting its probation officer first. The eyes squint at everything to see what's real.

Do we fall in love? Can it be love, even with everything we don't have?

Or will we forever mistake it for intense comfort, because we're incapable of believing in anything else?