September 29th, 2003

planet

505 Unbelievably Stupid Web P@ges

I reading my guestbook late yesterday looking for german SPAM (don't ask why germans SPAM my guestbook, I'm not sure myself) when I discovered something interesting. There were two entries there by someone who signed his/her name as Crazy. The first one read, "I like the site. very interesting. I love the disco blob. U rock." Good. I also like the disco blob.

The second entry said this: "I forgot to tell you that you are in a book called 505 unbelievably STUPID web p@ges."

Come again? A book? A printed one? A quick amazon.com search revealed that there was in fact a book called 505 Unbelievably Stupid Web P@ges. A quick phone call to the local borders revealed that they had five copies, and I could stop in tomorrow after work and buy one if I wished.

It was silly, but I had to at least see this... see if it was real, see if I'd actually made print. Among the billions of web pages out there had mine joined enough ranks to be published? Had some real author chosen to include my little site in a real book that maybe took semi-real research?

I got to the bookstore after work all excited, and went straight to the computer section. It wasn't in the computer section. A store clerk showed me to the humor section. Okay, well we can't expect fame and legitamacy in the same day.

The index of the book had no listing for "spacefem". No listing for "blobs", "useless blobs", "stick death" or "militant feminism". My heart sank. The person in my guestbook must have been thinkig of someone else.

But I was there so I figured I'd flip through the book anyway. It looked interesting. There were fun sites in there. There were quite a few sites I recognized in there. Emotion Eric. Cockeyed. The author might have missed me, but he got some friends.

Then I flipped a page and there I was. Number 304: Adopt a Useless Blob. The author wrote, "Now this is one I understand. Who wouldn't want a worthless blob to put on their computer? Of course! They have an appeal that makes your computer different from all those "other" computers. Adopt these blobs; they deserve good homes."

I stared at it for a second. Not real fame, I realize, but something relevant. A real book, by a real publisher. And what's more, he'd gotten all those other sites I'd been to and admired, the ones that grew up along with mine. My people.

The internet seems very big sometimes. Not as big as the world, but almost. Reading that made me think that maybe it wasn't so big, maybe it was really a place where little guys, or girls, could make their statement to the world. If it takes useless blobs to get the publicity, that's okay. What matters is that I've had a part in all this... the culture, the insanity, the randomness of it all. It's mine: the internet of spacefem. It's the internet of RateMyMullet.com, it's the internet of the "Leonard Nimoy Should Eat More Salsa" Foundation. You can only make it so big. But you can always make it great.