December 14th, 2002


well aren't you a gem

I am totally committed to not leaving my apartment and not getting dressed today. I'm not sure how healthy this is, but it's a free country so nobody's going to stop me.

I am kinda thinking I'll clean this place though. I know, it's almost 4:00 so the chances of that happening really well aren't big, but they're there. I dusted my television stand this morning. That's something.

Ran into an old college friend of mine last night at the movie theater, it was nuts! He came over and said hello and we had a quick conversation to catch up on life and all that. He was with some friend who didn't seem too interested in meeting me. After the movie he came up to me in the lobby and asked what I thought and his friend was like, "Man, we should get out of here, I gotta take a piss. I don't want to go here, the line is too long. My eyeballs are swimming." Seriously, that's what he said. I hate it when guys talk about urination. I hate the word "piss". I don't know why, it's just gross, it bugs me, I hardly ever hear women talk about this issue using those terms. Hell, I don't hear nice guys talk about it either! But it seemed important to him to describe his exact feelings rather than say, "I would like to locate a less crowded men's room."

Then my friend kinda looked at him funny and mentioned that they might go out for a beer later, so I asked where because I wanted to catch up some more, and his friend was like, "Dude, we gotta go to , I saw a naked chick there last week, it's all about the naked chicks!" He didn't make eye contact with me the whole time, so I assumed that I was not invited to go after all, by mentioning naked chicks he was obviously trying to get rid of me. I just sort of smiled and was like, "Well, I guess I'll head home, call me okay?" and left. In my head I'm thinking, "sorry I almost conflicted with your careful plans to get laid because I wanted to talk to my old college friend, ASSHOLE. I hope he does call me so I can tell him how worthless I think you are." but I couldn't say that because it sounds kinda bitchy.

Looking back I should have been like, "Well I like naked chicks too! We'll take my car!" and drove really slow just to make him mad, but I never think of these things until it's too late.

There are TWO towers?

Which is worse?

Elitist nerds who read every Tolkien novel ever written at least twenty years ago running around saying that anyone who even paid to see the LotR movies is a moronic trend-follower disgracing the Tolkien name and everything it stands for -OR-
Ditzy followers who can't decide which of their elija wood t-shirts to wear wednesday because they're so busy writing stories about themselves having sex with Legolas (SOOO HOTTTTT AND I WANT TO S3X0R HIMMM!!!)