November 3rd, 2002

senior project

birth of our savior, death of our transformer

So I'm sitting at my computer this morning and all the sudden I hear this loud noise from outside and then I'm sitting at a blank terminal. in the dark. in silence. kinda cold.

I think a transformer blew, it was so not cool! I went to church. Went to wal-mart, and bought a battery controlled travel alarm clock, thinking it'd go under the "umbrella theory". You know, if you bring/buy and umbrella, it's less likely to rain? I figured if I bought a travel alarm, the power would be fixed by the time I got home. But it wasn't! So awful, seriously, the birds were shivering and I was worried about my food. I opened the fridge just long enough to grab the lettuce I had in there, it was still cold so I cut it up and ate it all with some dressing that was still cold too.

I lit a candle and put it under the bird aquarium, where their little house is. They warmed up. It was funny to think about cooking the birds though.

Then I was really bored but I heard some kids out playing so I went outside and talked to my neighbor Thad for a while. I used to think all my neighbors were 100% crazy, but Thad's not so bad. He even lent me his bike pump and I aired up my tires, and showed me his fly fishing lures he'd made, and I played with his dog outside. It was nice. Every so often we walked down to where the power guys were working on the lines and observed, and I joked about going up to them and being like, "Okay, I have an electronics degree! Just stand back and I will take care of everything!" I really wouldn't know how to take care of anything, I'd actually probably die trying, but it'd be funny, yes?

Then suddenly the power went back on and it was beautiful, I went to do laundry and Thad went... somewhere else. Oh, and I got back on the computer, obviously. Power was out for about six hours, I'm debating whether the ground beef in my fridge is still okay to eat. I'll cook it really good, will that do it?

Church was cool, I went to Aldersgate Methodist on 21st street. Sermon wasn't great, and nobody talked to me, but they had a handbell choir and I love handbells. Always have. I probably won't go back next week, so far I haven't been to any church more than once except Vineyard, which I really enjoy. But I feel some need to have a methodist church for some reason. Family influence? Fear of the unknown? God telling me methodists are always good? I can't figure it out.

Actually, if I could find a lutheran or presbyterian church that would be fine too. Just so it's not one of those crazy non-denominational cult gatherings, know what I mean? I'll do that on Saturday nights.

Speaking of the christian world, I was pissed as hell last night. I went to the mall to look for some clothes or something, and three stores, JC Penny included, had christmas decorations up. WTF? It's basically October! Then at the wal-mart this morning they made an announcement about gifts to get that hard-to-shop-for person in your life. Shut up! It's bad enough that the media and retail industry work together to destroy Christmas, but it's twice as painful when they start earlier and earlier every year. There are some really crazy right-wing Christians who celebrate Christmas in September, because we think that's when Jesus was actually born, and that way they can celebrate without having their religious holiday whored out. I'm thinking about it.

Did you know that we stole all our Christmas decorations from pagans? You probably did, but I learned this like two years ago, when my dorm floor wanted to decorate for solstice just to be different, and we did some research and learned that solstice decorations are made up of really hard-to-find items like greenery, holly, mistletoe and evergreen trees with big red bows. Early christians just thought it'd be funny to stick it to the pagans and mock their religion by copying the decorating scheme.

Christmas is so screwed up! No one likes it. Christians are mad that it's mocked and commercialized, non-christians are mad that they can't escape it. Eventually the only people who like it will be greedy, stupid, or too young to know any better. Am I right?
planet

if I were my clone, I'd love me!

Best thread ever happened on the spacefem.com forums today. I think if you really want to know what we're about there are two great threads, the one on how to know if you're a dork and this new one: Dumb Things You've Done To Yourself. Positively killed me, honest, I don't know why I found it so humorous (I'm sick in the head?) but I'm totally entertained. Zarathustra's story about chasing after a hackey sack and getting hit by a bus was the best ever... and I shouldn't laugh at stuff like that! But I do.

I think my forum has some wonderful lessons that go along with it. Be sure of yourself, don't take life too seriously, things aren't supposed to ever make sense so you might as well laugh about it, make fun of everyone. It's relaxed. It's supportive. She-net is similar, but a lot more serious, a lot more educated. Sexi is more targeted towards health issues and all that. So I guess really, I kinda feel like our little group on spacefem.com adds to the creative diversity of the internet's forum selection as a whole, if you just want to not think about anything, my site is where you go. Yeah, we get trolls, but they get found out and it's not a big deal. Yeah, it's sometimes not very smart sounding, but it's still fun. It feels good that my site is big enough to generate forum-worthy traffic, it's nice to see posts in there every time I log in.

I've often thought about my reasons for internet usage in general. I used to think I appreciated it because I was exposed to new interesting things and opinions, and that is really cool, on livejournal I get to read about tons of lives that are nothing like mine. But when it comes down to it, the journals I like reading most of all, the ones I always check on, are from people who are kind of a lot like me. Is that because I'm close-minded, or is it just a comfort zone thing? I like reading journals by women, 20-30 years of age, in college or just out of it. I like journals by technically-minded people.

It just sounds really boring, the idea that humans seek out people like themselves. I mean, we already have a life that is ours, why would we care about another one that's just like it? But I'll roll with it, definately makes me happy.