November 2nd, 2002


hey, what's going on friday night?

I feel both proud and unproud of myself this morning.

Last night I agreed to meet some coworkers for a beer after work. I showed up at the bar and the door guy was like, "Are you meeting a group here?" and I told him yes, I was meeting some friends from work. And he was like, "You must be a teacher! ha ha. They're over at that table." and I told him that I was an engineer and he was like, "Oh. Well, I don't know where the engineers are, haven't seen anybody stroll in here with pocket protectors yet." He lost so many points. Funny thing is, he's the second person who's just assumed I was a teacher. It's like I've got that aire or something. The lady I rented my apartment from keeps forgetting what I do and asking what grade I teach again. I guess there are worse things to be mistaken for, but damn, it makes me want to re-examine my wardrobe or demeanor or something.

Then my first two bosses show up, that could get weird. I mean, I share a cubicle with one of them, I didn't even think he liked me, but then here he is. We decide to go to another guy's house to shoot some pool and drink some more. There were like five of us, and two of the guys had their wives (teachers! go figure!) with them so I wasn't the only girl.

I drove with another guy because I'd had a huge margarita at the bar, and was promised that I'd be delivered back home or to my car later. Cool. We played ping-pong. I kicked everyone's ass at ping-pong, we didn't keep score but if we had I would have shut out about everybody, including both bosses. College was good for my ping-pong career. Unfortunately, I suck at pool, chess, and darts, and those are both much more sophisticated games, so I lose points there.

Someone thought it'd be fun to take taquilla shots. It's never fun to take taquilla shots. Really, I don't ever think it's fun to take shots at all, the only reason for it is that you want to get really drunk or make someone else really sick. I can get really drunk off like two beers, so that point's mute. I refused like three shots, just flat out said no, and that's hard. Peer pressure. They were making me feel bad, hardcore, so finally I just bent and took one. That also made me feel bad, hardcore, only in a different way. I went and threw up. Tried to be discrete about it but when I came back boss #1 was like, "did you just totally throw up?" and I was like, "No! Well, yes." That's never happened to me before, when I think about it. I'm not the type to drink too much and puke. It's not cool.

That made me feel more sober, and I decided it was time for me to stop drinking. There are several reasons for this. First, I felt sick. Second, when I get drunk, I do stupid things, I like hugging everyone in the room and removing articles of clothing and that is not cool when you hang out with people you work with. Not cool at all. As much fun as I had, I don't ever want to get really intoxicated with these people. I want to remain somewhat professional here, and if the talk of the office on monday morning is "Spacefem Gone Wild" I can see things going downhill fast.

For some reason, I always had this feeling that once adults graduated from college, they drank in totally responsible ways. Not so much. I mean, everyone was still cool, it's not like they started fights or hit on me or broke stuff. But there were very drunk people. Very drunk. And that's all I can say, because I want to make this public post.

I got back here at like 3 a.m., I was about to melt, I was so tired. How do these people, who woke up at 5 that morning, stay up that late? Go figure. Anyway, I made it home safe and woke up this morning and now I really don't feel like doing anything today.

Back to the original statement. I feel proud of myself for not getting drunk. Unproud for bowing to peer pressure and taking a shot that I knew would make me sick. There ya go.